Pura Vida

Subject: Call from Austin

Times I let it go to V-mail: 3 times in 2 weeks

why I picked up today? He sent me a text... I was curious.

why he called: he is flying back to Costa Rica which is where he lives. and will be moving to Australia.

He wants to give me a perspective of disenchanted young people everywhere else in the world. He wants to keep in touch. He wants to remain friends. He gives me his email and asks me to visit his myspace full of Costa Rica.

I visit MySpace out of curiosity. he is listed as the title line.

He is in a relationship? his myspace says so. he does not bring this up.

He gets off the phone to board a plane. "come visit me wherever i am. come live in australia whenever you are sick of the rat race". I did the visit when he was in Austin... just like Japan he will seamlessly move into "stay here! stay forever!" and i will want to break my neck running away from him.

We are not friends. we used to be. and then i was stupid enough to listen to his professing of his undying love... and he says stupid things like marriage... and he is a flake. he is not the marrying kind.

I want to drown myself in beer. and kick him. want the beer more though.

I want to not be where i am. suddenly the job i love... the impending promotion... the start of law school... looks like nothing.

why? because he spent a month in Italy just because... so this is jealousy? of his life? of his abandonment of rational reason... and the universe just catches him.

I remember that it and he did not work for me. That i do not want to bring him home to the family, do not want to marry him. did not even want to see him very often... so the issue is not so much him... as it is me.

which i know.

ugh. next time i am just not answering. no matter how many times he calls. I'm too old for this $hit.