Il dificil no c'est impossible.

Remember that day that I thought i might be semi intelligent? that i loved what i did professionally and wanted nothing else but law school academically. asked my company to pay for it and thought i could do both. and well.

Everything works in theory.

The reality is that i sleep an average of 4 hours a night. read every free second of my day. record lectures and hide earbuds in my ears in pointless meetings to get so much information into my head. Crim law professor who I am chasing down to tell me what is wrong with my writing FOR HIM is committed to the idea of subtly letting me know that he is the holy grail and i am a nothing.

In fact, he calls me Rep. As in class rep. As in, he has decided that he will not speak to the 65 people in my class... he will speak to me. and i will disseminate to my class. this is the privileged position? no. though he calls everyone else "you".

best part? he knows all of our names.

He says "write my hypos... come to my office... let's talk. if you can't write these things in your sleep the way i want, you will not pass". like every other class in law school, your grade is what you make on the final. yay.

so i leave work at 4 everyday... get to school 430/445. class is at 6. Monday i got the distinct pleasure of sitting outside of his office until 6. on the off chance he would see me. nope.

repeat tuesday. wednesday, same thing. Thursday, same thing.

nice.

because i don't have 4 other classes. and a full time job.

Took a week off of this particular humiliation... this past monday, came back to it. Happened to catch in an elevator. this man is going to talk to me. i will follow you. i will sing outside of your office. YOU WILL TALK TO ME! because this has to work and not doing well is not an option. and my rockstar might have been kicking in.

So he does see me. takes my paper and does not want to talk about it. He wants to talk about Time magazine. where he has written. how important writing is. I am a nerd. I took notes on this. (what?! he FINALLY saw me!) for forty minutes. what took 2 minutes... was him telling me to take out 1 sentence and move some things around. Everything he wants is there... but if i gave it to him like that it would be a C.

nice. i chose this. this seemed like a good idea to me.

Back to the title line. The difficult is not the impossible.