Wednesday, May 10, 2006
WOMEN ANNOY ME
I work for a Fortune 100 company and talk to people within it all day long. The women are definitely the worst. get to the point. tell me why you called me and what you want from me... and then SHUT UP! the whiny nah nah nah... is so freaking irritating. women wonder why we don't get taken seriously in business? i'm sure the wishy washy whiny blah doesn't help. i so want to just hang up. and that's mean. and i am a woman. ick.
Monday, May 08, 2006
Did you ever wish it was you?
Nugget makes me recite a mantra whenever I am on the brink of feeling sorry for myself "In my own time, in my own time, in my own time". The point of it is to remember that each of the things that I want to accomplish- the job I want, getting into law school, being able to spend a month in Thailand, is a process and take time. But sometimes it is hard to see past the everyday tasks that are the b***ch work.
I have friends who have started their careers or have a decent sense of where they are going and are affirmed in each step to get there. And I feel like mine is plagued by self doubt and eleventy billion things that make me wander off in a different direction.
And then there are those people from your past that are the most extreme kick in the head. My water buffalo- because he snored like one... was my great soul shaking, earth shattering, tragically young 1st love. The first person that makes you believe in forever... is married to the girl he dated at the tail end of "us". Madigan who has known us both forever sometimes asks "Do you ever think it should have been you?" Honestly, the 1st time she asked it knocked the wind out of me, as everything associated with him did. But the answer was, and has always been the same... while I am happy he is happy, no I do not wish it was me. why? I remember the us... and that we tried everything to hold on to it and it just didn't work.
In the end we could not share a meal together. He would inevitably say the wrong thing, which would make me lose my appetite and not eat, and then he would scream, and I would cry, and he would finish his meal. And I would promise myself I would never go to another restaurant with him. I cried more over that boy than over anything else EVER. It was not good, it was not me. the only consistency we had was understanding all that we could not be to and for each other.
It puts into perspective that where I am in every aspect is a collection of choices... and I remember where I was and what I had when such was made. and considering you do the best with what you have, I couldn't have done it any differently. so no regrets. and I have to have patience that the everyday will lead to all I hope it will be. so that's faith then? and yet the wonderful petulance in me says I am tired of being poor and I'm ready to have this worked out now. but i am not anyone else, and this couldn't work out any other way. but it will in my own time.
I have friends who have started their careers or have a decent sense of where they are going and are affirmed in each step to get there. And I feel like mine is plagued by self doubt and eleventy billion things that make me wander off in a different direction.
And then there are those people from your past that are the most extreme kick in the head. My water buffalo- because he snored like one... was my great soul shaking, earth shattering, tragically young 1st love. The first person that makes you believe in forever... is married to the girl he dated at the tail end of "us". Madigan who has known us both forever sometimes asks "Do you ever think it should have been you?" Honestly, the 1st time she asked it knocked the wind out of me, as everything associated with him did. But the answer was, and has always been the same... while I am happy he is happy, no I do not wish it was me. why? I remember the us... and that we tried everything to hold on to it and it just didn't work.
In the end we could not share a meal together. He would inevitably say the wrong thing, which would make me lose my appetite and not eat, and then he would scream, and I would cry, and he would finish his meal. And I would promise myself I would never go to another restaurant with him. I cried more over that boy than over anything else EVER. It was not good, it was not me. the only consistency we had was understanding all that we could not be to and for each other.
It puts into perspective that where I am in every aspect is a collection of choices... and I remember where I was and what I had when such was made. and considering you do the best with what you have, I couldn't have done it any differently. so no regrets. and I have to have patience that the everyday will lead to all I hope it will be. so that's faith then? and yet the wonderful petulance in me says I am tired of being poor and I'm ready to have this worked out now. but i am not anyone else, and this couldn't work out any other way. but it will in my own time.
Friday, May 05, 2006
HAPPY MEXICAN DRINKING DAY!
yes boys and girls, it's my jenny-bear and I's official holiday and well done to Madigan for not knowing Cinco de Mayo means the fifth of may. today the Mexicans beat the French (umm... who didn't?)... and did not declare independence... that is september 15/16.
updates all round... want to know what the ex did with the girl he was diggin'? he gave her to his best friend. just like that. it was a pass over... i have to say i had hoped for more.
as for toothy... not going downtown tonight so hopefully no random run-ins.
and last but not least- Monito. sweet sweet, ridiculously funny, and love talking to him. we are in the friend zone- and it's great.
Happy day to all and please stay tuned, shennanigan's to follow.
updates all round... want to know what the ex did with the girl he was diggin'? he gave her to his best friend. just like that. it was a pass over... i have to say i had hoped for more.
as for toothy... not going downtown tonight so hopefully no random run-ins.
and last but not least- Monito. sweet sweet, ridiculously funny, and love talking to him. we are in the friend zone- and it's great.
Happy day to all and please stay tuned, shennanigan's to follow.
Monday, May 01, 2006
my seinfeld moment
Last Friday, my friends and I were partaking of some spirits at a bar downtown. Someone brought up a friend of mine and in talking about her, the guys we were with let it be known that they did not find her attractive. The girls were very surprised, personally I think she's beautiful. One of the guys called her a "5 to a 5.3". Ok. You can't bring up the 1-10 scale without questioning where you lie on it. So my big mouth said "If that's what she is, then what am I?"
Before my friend could respond, another guy walking in says "You're Indian!" in response to my question. Which is true so it was funny. Until he got his drink and came back to finish the conversation. Apparently he had dated an Indian girl once upon a time and she broke up with him and he traveled through 4 states of India to understand her better... Ok, just in case there is anyone that finds his story remotely charming he completely crossed over to potential psycho with the slicked back hair, terrible shorts, and little shark tooth grin. Fortunately my friends picked me up by the scruff of my neck and saved me from "Toothy".
Fast forward to the next Friday, a friend and I went to an outdoor concert downtown and were drinking a beer at an outdoor table. Some guy walks by, toothy as ever and says "hi" and keeps walking. I say "hey, he looks familiar" my friend says.. he should, that's the guy who went to India. wow, how come the guys like that never go away.
Before my friend could respond, another guy walking in says "You're Indian!" in response to my question. Which is true so it was funny. Until he got his drink and came back to finish the conversation. Apparently he had dated an Indian girl once upon a time and she broke up with him and he traveled through 4 states of India to understand her better... Ok, just in case there is anyone that finds his story remotely charming he completely crossed over to potential psycho with the slicked back hair, terrible shorts, and little shark tooth grin. Fortunately my friends picked me up by the scruff of my neck and saved me from "Toothy".
Fast forward to the next Friday, a friend and I went to an outdoor concert downtown and were drinking a beer at an outdoor table. Some guy walks by, toothy as ever and says "hi" and keeps walking. I say "hey, he looks familiar" my friend says.. he should, that's the guy who went to India. wow, how come the guys like that never go away.
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