"I look at you and I'm home"

the quote is from finding nemo, dorey says it to marlin, this is the line that made me cry over a children's movie, with my niece and nephews sleeping on me. It drove home what it is like to be so far removed from family that mine is my mother, anything else is a plane ticket and usually an international affair. Case in point my cousin Karen's wedding.

It is to be the event that fuels desi moms with enough material to harass their un-wed daughters for at least 7 hours with out stopping for breath. and the icing is supposed to be that it is in NYC. No that does not make it great (albeit does make it 'home') the bloody indian wedding is still in Queens which is not the same thing.

Further, this notion of home. It's strange how attached people assume you are to where you are born. Living here, growing up here (for all practical purposes) has given LA the sense of home. Yes it is different and I never expected to have to explain to someone why I am having a crawfish boil as a graduation party instead of a traditional dinner. But this is where my friends have accepted and loved me in the absence of blood relatives. Ick.

New York as I love it is the artistic cultural expression. Museums, theatre, and hole in the wall restaurants- all of the things not entirely touristy that makes it feel like it has a soul (like New Orleans- even during Mardi Gras). and not anything that I can explain to my family. That I'm not ever going to have an arranged marriage, that I might not marry an Indian, that I might not marry at all. and all of the words in any language that I could give them would still make me sound "American" and a sell-out. and the diet coke of desi... (oh yeah it's coming!) just one calorie not quite indian enough. as much as I can blog it- the challenge today is to tell mommiey that I changed my ticket to go to Phoenix for a 2nd interview and am not putting life on hold to sit through 3 days of religious ceremonies, because that is not where I want to be. I had a point, I think I lost it.