OMG! I really am the Baby...

...and I have the lotion to prove it.

I will set this one as quickly as possible. The basic premise...I don't understand how Kris is such a sh*tty mom. Especially since we came from the same house and I cannot explain the awesome love that my mom is. She is a fan-freakin-tastic mom.... and yet she does not read my blog... the Internet still scares her... but so does the digital camera. The only reason she uses it now is because it chirps like a bird when you turn it on.... but I digress.

Sunday, I promised to have lunch w/her and my grams and then take them shopping. We have to stop at Target 1st so I will print her pics... the Kodak machine makes her nervous. Grams and I edit, crop, and print. We find a snack for Mouse (grams) and look for mom. She is in a cashier's line and has managed to spend $70 in 3 minutes.... WTF? My mouse whispers in my ear..."She shops like you gamble (I don't gamble... I don't know what I'm doing and it is a bit to obvious... she refers to the time I lost $30 in like 5 min and I didn't fully know how)... but at least she comes home with crap".

Mouse has jokes.

I try to look in the bags and mom snatches them. I try to look at the receipt to see what she bought... she snatched that too. It is uber important I find out what she bought... Mouse and I had a bet. Since she wouldn't let me see, I assume it is for me. Mom shows me everything she buys.

I don't get to see what was in the bag until later. Before I tell you what it is... let me preface... Mom travels a lot, I pick her up from the airport. I don't let any of my friends ride with me because for the longest time she hopped off the plane and greeted me with 6 things

1. you are not eating right

2. you are exercising enough
3. you are not drinking enough water

4. you are not sleeping enough

5. you are not wearing sunscreen consistently

6. your make up looks like sh*t

Then one day we had to tell her the next time she did that... she'd be calling a cab. amazingly she stopped.

On to the Target bag... as I am unloading bags... she says "I meant to put it together in a basket... but you wouldn't get it until later in the week and you need it now".

It was everything my skin needs in winter. Gold bond lotion so I can stop itching through my clothes, baby cream for my face because nothing is moisturizing enough in the winter and I get a funky almost breakout with out actual zits and it's rough and dry and bad, and baby soap for me to wash in, dove cloths to take to the gym, and a little bag for all the stuff. (no that wasn't worth $70... she bought some extras for her and grams). and I am blessed and grateful to have the mommiey that I do. and I don't understand how my sister completely sucks at it.