A reasonable expectation to privacy, or the lack thereof

I think I have broken another laptop. Very scary. Now in search of someone who can fix it for less than Best Buy wants me to give them, for them to fix it. ick.

So now we are back to desktop. ick part II.

I have bad news for you guys... the world we live in that gives us a false but mostly consistent sense of semi-privacy is FALSE. I know you are shocked awed and alarmed. But if I told you that almost anyone could find you almost anywhere at anytime (or course provided you are not trying to be hidden) you might not believe me. It is so.

I got a call from Japan on Friday. (he is no longer stationed in Japan). He works for an engineering firm in Austin, TX. He now has degrees in Physics and some kind of engineering. I have not talked to him in 5 years.

The last time I talked to him, he called me crying in the middle of the night, because he found out there was a girl in Japan supposedly carrying his child. and she was in a car accident. He was flying back to see if his child was alive. Oh.

That was bad because though we did not officially 'date' I've known him for a very long time. We'd talked almost everyday for 2 years... eventually he asked me to marry him. and was working on the ring (as I did not think this a valid question without one).

and then there is another girl in another country with his possible child. We were not "together" because he was in a whole other country. What kind of a nut job considers herself to be with someone she sees 2x a year and thinks he would be faithful? but even he could not say beyond a shadow of a doubt that this was not his child (Friday August 24. 2007 he tells me it was not his child).

Does it look like a pattern? WHY IS THERE ALWAYS ANOTHER STINKING GIRL? AND WHY IS SHE COUPLED WITH GREAT BIG GRAND GESTURES OF I LOVE YOU AND WANT TO BE WITH YOU ETC. ETC. WHY?

and why do boys lie? for what reason? I am not your mom, I am not the law, I am not God.
I cannot send you to your room, I cannot send you to jail, I cannot send you to hell. There is nothing I can do to you...

and they get busted. or they bust themselves. why? it makes no sense.

And yet, that is not the best part. the best part is actually 2 parts...

I. He is calling to ask if I will come and see him in Austin for the Labor day weekend or if I will allow him to come see me here. He will buy the ticket if I want to fly... or he is willing to take the drive.

II. He got my phone number, with my address (this has yet to be confirmed), car and license plate (this info it the red Mirage that was totalled last year), along with a supposed background check (I want this info) off of one of those Internet searches that promises to find anyone for like $20.

I could not breath. It took all I had not to hyper-ventilate over the phone. Does it seem like some stalker sh*t? Does that even look slightly familiar.

Jesus H. Christ this is not good.

and it raises some great big friggen questions.

1. what is it? what is it about me that brings out the crazy?
2. how much of the information he has is accurate, how did he get it, how do I get my info pulled off of those things.
3. what is it there being another freakin girl? I mean really? Bama, Dk, and him.
4. again, what is it that made him resort to a stalker like mode of behavior? what? how did he think this was ok? i had one. a whole stalker, then the boogie man, and now him. wtf?

So I say "we will talk about it" because that was all I could squeak out.

The follow up voicemail is apologetic "I didn't mean to frighten you" really cuz you did.

"because it kind of felt like I did" because that is exactly what you did

"But I really want to see you, so please think about it"

Is it the Marine syndrome of wanting a girl pining for you in a myriad of cities? what is that?

but as scared as I am, it is a conversation I am going to have. I am not flying there, and I do not want him here. So maybe I will take the drive. I have the family of a friend I could stay with... and I can leave whenever I wanted... good God what am I doing... but part of me has to know.

Who was it that says if you get the same thing from enough people and the only unchanging variable is you... maybe it has something to do with me?

and I am going to talk to Bama. Lots of phone tag today... but Monday is his official last work day and I am going to do this. because apparently I may have this situation (if not person) again, so the faster we get the 1st out of the way... the easier the next will be.

You got this? I got this.

I'm going to take a pepto.