It's not you ... it's me.

So I am officially over the daydream... what magic phenomenon occured to create this reaction? I had a conversation with him. It went well... but not for the reasons you are thinking. I can't say anything bad about him... in fact, much like the tag line indicates... I am done with this not so much because of him... but truly truly because of me.

Today we talked. Apparently he was once very corporate- fiber optic blah-biddy blah... as an extention from the time he served in the military working on special ops. So I ask "HOW?" how does one go from uber-cog in the great big corporate machine to developer of work-out phenomenenon (can you guess the word of the day?) called circuit training. He talks about how unhappy he was... and how much he focused on what he was good at- "training" people... or 1/2 killing them... if they didn't die and they got up... they were in better shape for it. To date apparently no one has died. He branched out into yoga and pilates and got certified in every thing. and now not only can I not breath... I feel very small.

I don't think I am doing this grown up thing right. No I am not happy in work. Yes I have a goal to accomplish as far as getting into law school. but what then? I don't have a very good plan and what is it that I am good at? Gi-normous ick!

Oh and the resolution was not to talk to him because the more I put it in context... the more I just couldn't. It would be so amazingly rude. The gym is where he WORKS and he is sociable and kind and everyone loves him. To throw myself at him would be desperate and pitiful. And if he said no- however diplomatically- I would be so mortified that I would have to find another gym to go to, and that would suck. So we keep it professional and back to the drawing board to work on me.

Update: As Daydream walked me out we passed Bama coming back from a corportate lunch in a tie. He e-mails me to say "hi" and he wanted to stop and talk but meetings and blah blah. The reponse he got from me? "You looked nice in your tie :)" to which he says that I always look nice and is it ok if he calls me. No response. He will try to work out with me tomorrow. I run faster and he still gets none of my time. Like the old post said- he should have behaved better. Yo no tengo mas tiempo para el.