Shrapnel

The title is indicative of what today has been in retrospect.

Bits before actual pic of what blew up...

1. no yoga
2. big girl conversation with the dream killer

3. 2 miles on treadmill = 30 min

4. "I was just calling to check on you and the baby"

5. guest appearance by Shy

6. apparently I am ducking Bama.

That is a good place to start. In no particular order

Today I had every intention to run- then hot tub- and then yoga. Maybe a bit of lunch before eye dr. appt. The only thing skipped was yoga. The hot tub is officially great.

I ran with books... when I am studying for something I run w/ a book and earplugs. No music. So when you test for 4 hours the silence is not deafening... it is familiar. You under-dig.

To yoga would put lunch too late, DK promised pot roast (my favorite thing ever) at a Bistro I like. So opportunity cost for lunch was yoga. Das cool, I'm making it up on Friday w/Carmen.

So as I am running and reading, Bama walks through (I was in gym 1 hour before I normally am- if he is there when I am, he has the innate ability to spot me and call me out. Very loudly. Very embarrassingly). So he walks through in his best Mr. Perfect, look-at-me- I-am a Ken doll in a polo and khakis. I promptly become engrossed in my book. I am inconspicuous. I am a chameleon... I am covert and spy-girl material

Furthermore, Ok- I'm over this. The polite to be polite just stretched out for too damn long. I don't want to be polite. I don't want to turn almost a long time ago, into perpetually almost. I want to ignore each other like other awkward non couples. and pretend like nothing ever happened. I would like that. That would be ideal.

So I stretch in the room w/ a ballet bar (ok I stretch like a ballerina... and I laugh at how un-flexible I now am. and I tried a few jumps. not bad). and take the back way to girls tub.

I sneak out the side to pick up DK. On the way to Bistro DK asks if we should eat at another restaurant we are about to pass b/c my Bistro will be packed. Bama is in that parking lot on his cell. I say "no thanks." and laugh at myself as I slide down in the passenger seat. Dk knows what happened but has never met Bama.

Had coffee w/the engineer on Friday, it rained and rescued their mutual friend from his flooded Lexus. It blew up w/DK Friday night. Friend mentioned I'd helped him out. Engineer denied having seen me. and did the whole..."if there is something you want to know, ask her. I won't tell you because it's none of your business"and alludes to a clandestine romance that I somehow missed. So DK screams at me and I hang up on him. Engineer wants to fight DK for my "honor" I express that he is delusional and this is childish. I am no longer speaking to the Engineer. He was adorable to be sure, but still dispensable, and showed b*tch-like tendencies.

Today we talk about it. I go first, then DK. Then he shows me the text the Engineer left him. It was very much not the guy that I thought I knew. If it is a test of loyalty ever... I choose Dk. Despite all the sh*t, he loves me. and he tries to be good... it's just not enough. but in the same breath, I still owe him some semblance of loyalty. He has that.

Shy once said that I will end of married to DK- because if he asked in front of his parents and in a public setting, I wouldn't have the balls to say no. He says I might actually marry him because w/ him I always know what I'm getting. I know the worst it can be... and then the comfort thing.

ick. Shy popped up yesterday. My heat was getting ready for sprints. He saw me and left. Maybe he was not there to see me. no, no he was. Will I am said he was concerned about the wreck. It will be interesting to watch him attempt to humble himself. I wonder if he has it in him. I'm still not talking to him w/out it.

My doc appt is in June. On a tuesday. how did I get that wrong? so I do homework and come home to nap. I awake to voicemails. Including, "Hi K! I was calling to check on you and the baby...etc.." wrong #? NO, I know the girl who left it, and she said my name... so she thinks I have a baby? We haven't spoken in a while and still I check to make sure I do not have a baby that I was unaware of. maybe I'd woken up to a different reality? sadly no. no baby.

oh and Avi graduates from high school on friday. I may take my grams w/ me. He is going to college in N.O. and not the sad ass community college his sister goes to (she is on year 5 for a 2 year associates.... WTF?). That may have been the choice I nudged him to. I am so proud of him. and I feel old. I remember when he was little and awkward... and he had those TEETH.

You think you knew kids w/ bucked teeth. I promise Avi's teeth were freakin impressive.