...pete and repeat...

How can I be accused of having abandonment issues if no one ever truly goes away?

and also... what's up with the world being all out of whack? Let me say this again people... all women (we can ever stretch this to all people) are beautiful amazing goddesses that we should try to uplift and help to be the best that they can be.. and never insult anybody ever...etc etc..

BUT let me also say this again... and pay attention this time... If you take a shot at me, that is free reign to knock you smooth the f*ck out.

Back to the first one... Bama. (go ahead and say it... better yet, don't say it)

So Little Bit gives me my 1st set of training workouts for the triathlon. I am looking over it... she says "Look at Thursday... what does it say?" Swim. It says swim.

She further says... "that means get in the pool and go hard for 30 min... and that is the easiest this is going to be." I look away.

She says "Look at me... you CAN swim by now... can't you?" I hide under my super cute Nike hat, that matches my shorts.

She snatches me by the hand and drags me to the indoor and outdoor pools. They are 25 ft. respectively. She threatens to throw me in.. I say "I'm on a list!" which I am... at the only other gym with a lap pool that I wouldn't have to pay extra for. She says "If you would just suck it up and do it here, we would be done by now." she is right.

So we ask the life guard on duty about lessons... he defers to Bama. SHIT. Little bit makes a bee-line for Bama's office and I beat her to it and block the door. Which was futile because he was stretching on a mat and watching us.

She bops over to him and I literally dragged her away. We picked a different place to start for circuit. Bama did not work out in our group, but he stayed for circuit. I think we are done here.

So we go hard, and stretch. I grab my and Bunny's stuff and try to sneak out. And got called out. LOUD. "Ms. K... Get your beautiful bum back here!" Bunny waits for me by the door.

Bama: Ms. K. I know you can't swim...
K: Yes, but I'm on a list

Bama: One month, you have one month for me to teach you to swim... and then I am leaving forever. I'm going to Tampa. (he's going to GM for a branch of gym- it's a huge step up.)
K: Congrats.

Bama: Why do you think you haven't gotten scheduled for lessons at Southside yet?
K: that's not nice! Why did you pull my name?

Bama: Why didn't you ask me to give you lessons? You know I would do it for nothing.
K: Because I would rather ask a complete stranger

Bama: Why?
(like he doesn't know why! because this is awkward... and I started to like you, and this didn't go well, and you were interested in other girls... and I don't trust anything you say... and I hate that I got butterflies over the words FORMAL COURTSHIP... like you pitched for the relationship to get me to sleep with you!) That is not what came out.

I hide under my cute Nike hat that matches my shorts. He snatched the hat off my head. I snatched it back. and said:

K: Because you think I'm trying to stalk you.
and left to him screaming : We are going to talk about this!

ok I never said I was brilliant, nor that this was the best interaction ever. I didn't call. he didn't either. Maybe I can just avoid him for a month until he goes away forever? That is not growth. Big girl.. I am past this. I am. I am over it and it is not awkward and I am over the disappointment and capable of superficial relationships.

I don't have him in my phone anymore... so I'm just not answering 803 numbers.. even if I have the option of the big girl conversation... he still should get voice mailed. because he said FORMAL COURTSHIP. and I was stupid enough to believe him. That other thing will just have to wait.

"The Tards Just Got Married!"

Courtesy of Dane Cook... will have to amend this point to give you a YouTube reference a bit later. For now you get Bummble-Bee... because I am thinking this is the face I am making... or at least trying to make.

With Bunkles' implementation of a new computer system not going well, I am only too happy to play second fiddle aournd here... if only so as not have anyone wonder what I am doing with my 8+ hours at work. I am spy-girl material and super invisible...You wish you could be cool like me!

Until I got busted drawing a dancing monkey in a meeting that lasted an hour and a half. (I still don't know what it was about) It was on a sticky note to give to the secretary... the Brit (my boss in NY) thinks it is because I am "motivational". He thinks I'm great. He thinks the sun shines out of my bum. I don't fully understand.

... the translation in my head is "disgruntled". also known as "don't give a flying rats behind" further, please see "waiting for offer from consulting firm so I can politely hand you a piece of paper with 2 sentences expressing my notice of resignation".... but I digress. again.

Head-IT guy has spent lots of quality time on my floor this week. Today he tells me that he got married in May. I am not sure what kind of response this was supposed to illicit.

Let me back up and explain IT guy. Textbook IT guy. Body build like Homer Simpson. Sci-fi reading, some formal college but most of his knowledge comes from figuring stuff out. He is fantastic at what he does and is underpaid as he lack formal degree. He lacks social skills. He drives a Saturn. Car. which is worse than other Saturns. If you drive a Saturn... I'm sorry.

Let's clarify... I'm sorry you drive a Saturn.

This time last year he sent me the most obnoxiously big arrangement of flowers. Because I was graduating and my birthday was later that month... and to ask me to go to lunch with him. That got put off and eventually went away. He would pop up and ask me to marry him once a week. I would smile and pull out the Dream Killer as the convenient boyfriend-safety.

IT guy has never had a girlfriend. Never. No relationships with the opposite sex. I'm not saying he hasn't had sex... I frankly don't want to know.

Back to he got married. He bemoans that I was not here for him to sprinkle his good news to me (I was out about April 19th... got back July 2nd). I ask all of the requisite questions that say I am interested.

How did you meet? Online

How long have you been dating? earlier this year (and you got married in may?)

Where are you going to live? I bought a house

What does she do? She is a cashier at the Casino

Are you guys gonna have kids? No. She has 4. 3 of them now live with us, and one is about to start boot camp!

Oh. I couldn't say anything after this enlightening exchange. Bunkles comes behind me and whispers "Close your mouth." because I was just standing there dumb struck.

Really? is this how these things are done? and at what point do you think that this is ok. but maybe, just maybe I am looking at this the whole wrong way. I'm not trying to be "Connie the Judgemental Cow" (how funny it is a literal Cow but implies it is an unhappy type woman)... but really?

I have to give mom big props though. at least my sell out was a PhD and a professor.

oh and here you go for the Connie reference (you may have to click it to really see it). Bunkles has also seen fit to inform me that as I did not get the magic meter (someone beat me to it) I now have a bit of sunshine on Blanca. Which is fitting because it is raining.

Mono Besos (monkey kisses :)

"I know a crack-head!"

I do.

That is in quotes because I acutally said this to D on the elevator ride this morning. and there were other people on the elevator. and that might not have been the best response to good morning. hmmmm.

So on to my crack-head. I mean like a real whole live person on illegal drugs with the scratching and the tic-ing, hasn't bathed for weeks, lives on the street by choice, been locked up a couple of times...etc. etc.

This is exciting.

I don't remember if I've blogged her at all but here goes. She is generally meandering downtown. She asks me for change and butts into conversations I am having with people I am going to lunch with or talking to with an obnoxious odor and a "Yeah Girl! UH-HUH!" wft?

If I have change I give it to her. If Dk sees me do this he grabs me by the arm and hisses "Do NOT give her any money".... more recently he makes me pay for lunch if I give homeless people money. He has no beef if I give them my to-go food... he will buy me more... but he gets mad at $.

"There are so many churches around... etc. etc."

But then I had to pay a parking ticket. and I got into an elevator at the courthouse downtown... and she got in it also. Completely dressed up! I was so mad I could have spit!

There were other people in the elevator so I just stood and seethed for the duration of the ride. (and I seeth still!)... but then I saw her on the steps of my building this morning (as I leave Blanca at the Magic Meter) and she is dirty and scruffy... and has a new professional haircut....

She is talking to a tree about being locked up... I'm not kidding about that one... She had a whole conversation. With a tree. With a bark . and leaves. and squirrels. Tree. wow.

She is scratching and tic-ing. as I greet the security guards they tell me not to ever give her a dime again... that I work too long and too hard to make what I do (we sign in an out after normal business hours so they know my comings and goings better than my boss) and she was just released from jail for possession and illegal substances and prostitution. and it is sad.

and the realization dawned on me as I hit the elevator... so when D spoke... that is was came out.. "I know a crack head". nice.

I found the MAGIC METER!

This wonderful mythical creature is on the street outside of my office building and in our reality it is "broken" but in my world it is magic. Because you magically always have 1/2 an hour on it... but if you put more money on it... it gives you more time... it just doesn't dip below 1/2 an hour... so no little rays of sunshine (parking ticket) are forthcoming. yay magic meter. and yay I get here obnoxiously early so I get it 1st.

Yesterday afternoon I got the call from interview... Last interview (which I am told is 'formality' before a real offer is put on the table) is scheduled for Friday. Why would I sit through the last interview if I don't want the actual job?

I don't know... because I am feeling like I don't have ANY other options at this point. Desperation is a scary feeling.

Talking to Malty Milt Head he says "How did it go?" I say "I'm pretty sure I'm going to get an offer, but I am sure I don't want it" and he says "Ok, so don't take it. That was easy... I'm going into a meeting. Have to call you back." But it's not that easy and I didn't have the words to say so. So I just didn't answer when he called back.

Also, talking to DK is noxious. and not good for me. and for whatever reason I don't feel good about anything when I get off the phone with him. Maybe I am just goofy... or maybe nothing about him is good for me. and I think I will wait till he gets home on Saturday to tell him so. after all International calls are supposed to be a big deal and he did ask me not to snip at him over such an expensive call.. ok, but that delays the snip... it does not cancel it out.

He is not stupid, I think he senses it is coming because it is 2 am in London and he formally asks "May I call you tomorrow?" and I say "why? why do you want to call me tomorrow?" He says "to talk to you. and not to have to ask me why I want to call you." That was the wrong answer.

21 year old bartender asked me to go to a frat party on Friday. The situation is funny but I just can't do that. I didn't so much like the Greek parties when I was in college. I went because it was cool to my friends. no more, I think I've just out grown them.

Gearing up for what promises to be an interesting afternoon.

Catharysis

Just got back from interview... I'm pretty sure I'm going to get an offer... I am 100% sure I don't want it. A few minutes into the interview I wanted to stand up, thank them for their time and run... like hell.

and in those few minutes... and for the next hour and a half... I get it. I've been low balling myself.

I want to get away from the big Blue Bank but not to a worse existence. Not one set of chains for another.

and I really want the consulting job. really really.

Shy is abnormally anxious about it. He called to check in this morning, I tell him again for the 11 billionth time that it is tomorrow. He is anxious because he put a bug in the ear of a higher up at this firm. Great.

So as the pessimist in me says that if I get this, it is not of my own great stuff-ness. nice.

I woke up every hour on the hour dehydrated last night. Not kidding.

Jaws sent me the pic. I heart these. I might actually wear these. Get it? They are flipper heels... like to make fun of hurrican hit areas that are still not put back together.

All in all yesterday was very fantastic. Michael Ondaatje has a new book out. There was a review by Jhumpa Lahiri... whom I adore... talking about my writer-idol... it's almost too much!

Further I parked a meter behind Bunkles... and didn't put a dime in it... When I left at the end of yesterday I saw the bit of sunshine on Bunkles' glass (i.e. yellow citation envelope)... Whereas I had no sunshine.

Work out was also great... step/abs...2 1/2 rounds of circuit 2 laps on the track. The Mexican is laughing at what he calls my "new found motivation". He says "are you going to Cancun?" Nope that is October and its a maybe. His brilliant summation "It must be a guy"... again negative.

Little bit is writing my beginning triathlon workouts. She broke up with the Pseudo Daydream... I feel bad for her, she w0rked out with us for the 1st time since the break up. and people are talking... so the Mexican, ex Saints player, and even the Bama (miscellaneous reference) and I sort of rally around her... because people are being sh*tty about something that has nothing to do with them. So we make sure she knows we think she is great.

The bad news is that P-day is now more of a man-whore than ever. Equally because he is hurt and angry. He sort of comes over to talk about it but not really. I don't ask... I actually don't want them to tell me, I am the unbiased 3rd party... I heart everybody. as much as she is digging P-day still, Bunny won't even touch this one.

Shy is hitting the gloves with Little Bit... because the rest of us think the Little Bit is angry enough to try to kill us.

Interview today and Part II with the consulting firm tomorrow.

Today's theme: Esthero - Blanket Me In You

The Face of Fashion...

is freakin scary! or maybe just the face of Versace. Even if it is cutting edge couture... would you trust that face? really?

Today is funny.

Off we go:

1. I am in flats (Pumas to be exact) because bond girl heels do not so much compliment this wicked shin splint I am having. and apparently I have lost a little bit of me (not really weight but mass?) and my pants are longer... and dragging on the floor.... and letting go of their hems. Very sexy. grrr....

2. The analyst who is my arch-nemesis i.e. the Wombat is fat. like crazy fat. like Guinness book of world's records fat. She has recently started to wear shirts that cover her massive bosom. With the roll out of a new process we have lots of higher up help in our building. She is getting many compliments on the new shirt. I sit here and laugh. No one likes the shirt.... they like not being able to see your boobage!

3. Her underling is super conservative little guy who is a couple of years older than me. He was over another department. He was super quiet. Now he sits by me and has developed a personality. Friday he shows up with a mohawk... and today there is a short sleeve button down to go with the mohawk. The Wombat blames me for this. I didn't do it but it is freakin funny.

ok and completely random... honestly I could not make this stuff up if I tried... I just got a phone call at work... this is how it went

guy: Hey, what's up

me: ummm, can i help you

guy: yeah, this g*** what's up

me: ummm, do I know you?

guy: yeah, this g***

me: I don't think I know you, I'm sorry, did you need something? can I help you?

guy: yeah, we met at the Shaw center... downtown, I was calling to talk to you.

me: I'm sorry I don't remember and I don't think I know you. But I'm a little busy right now, can I take your name and number and I will call you back?

guy: that's alright, I'll just talk to you later.

WEIRD.

Further weird because 1) how did he get my work number... plus all of the bureaucracy that protects me from having to speak to people... 2) who the f**k is he? 3) no offence, but his vernacular was not indicative of the sort of guy who would feel like they had 1/2 a shot in hell with me!

As I relay the call to my Cubby pals (to go with the new cubicles that replace psuedo offices)... Mohawk says: do you go to the Shaw Center?

To which I say "all the time! I've seen so much stuff there, there is the LSU gallery and Tsunami is there too. I've eaten there a bunch!"

Mohawk replies "apparently you've had a little bit to drink there also". Mohawk has jokes. I'm am loving the new personality that comes with too much gel.

Dk got knocked the f*ck out!

I am really not laughing at this. I'm really not. Promise.

But the situation is not really new, now is it?

For those of you who have known Dk for a sizable amount of time... we all remember those Saturday/ Friday morning conversations with the illustrious Dream killer of "What did you do last night?" with the standard response of "Went out in Tiger Land, got into a fight... I knocked him out..." blah blah blah.

Then that got moved up to the late Thursday / Friday night calls of "What are you doing? ummmm I was in a fight and I got hit and I think I'm going to die...." blah blah blah.

Best case scenario I would be able to tell you that he has matured over the years and no longer feels the need to exert his male dominance.... Which would be true except for the last time he got into a brawl with his BFF and got maced by a security guard. He calls me in the middle of the night and I let it go to voice mail. Harsh but he'll learn.

and for a long time he did...

Except for the Saturday morning call of .... "uhhhh, so me and Grant and 2 girls were going to have dinner at our program director's house when we got jumped by 10 guys! I had money and both of my cell phones in my jacket pocket... which they ripped off of me and took... and Grant and I were gonna try to take them but were were protecting the girls... and they scream 'F*ck Americans!' and hit me over the head with a pipe... and that is the last thing I remember...." He woke up with a busted lip and blood all over a really nice shirt, etc. etc.

and shockingly no one else got hurt. hmmmm. I'm not saying I don't believe him (ok, I don't believe him... but I did not SAY I didn't believe him), but it is a bit suspect. I did however make all of the requisite coo-ing noises.

However it happened, it does suck that it happened the last week before he comes home. He has finals on Wednesday and flies home on Sunday-ish. He is further telling me that someone in his class gave him a calling card so he will call me but a little less frequently... to which I ask "are you sure you don't want to call your umm parents or siblings instead?" I.e. anyone who still believes this sh*t but me?

To which he counters "You have to be nice to me, this is an INTERNATIONAL CALL (boy did that line get old!) and plus I am bleeding!"

Fine. Poor Baby.

Please refer to the pic... It's a Toadal Knockout... Sorry, I couldn't help myself.

In defence of Church.

You may have noticed my brand new toy. It is the Stimulated Boredom website and something I found while listening to live 365 at work. (because Internet radio is supposedly blocked :)

Let me preface this with while I do not agree with everything the illustrious Dana-jock says... I think he usually has an intelligent and well thought out position. and it makes my day a little less mind numbing to consider someone else's point of view... and counter it in my head.

It also spawned conversation with the Malty Milt Head who is, of his own admission, a dirty Catholic. It is odd that the evil capitalist is so superstitious and yet so Catholic. He goes to mass every Sunday and really lives the bit about giving and charity etc. etc. Not to say he gets it all right, but he tries and I contend that this is all any of us can do.

He has also said before that my faith (I am a Hindu) lends itself to a certain mysticism which is evident in my writing. (not like blogging but actual WRITING). The jury is out on this one.

But as I listen to an old set of debated... the existence of God parts I and II, I am intrigued, delighted and amused at the mere mortals self-importance of thinking their faith or lack there of affects anyone but themselves. and here we come to the meat of today's post...

I believe in God. I do. Being Hindu, while we have religious texts (I guess you can say they are akin to the Bible) there is the over-arching idea that they are the abstract ideas of God given as inspiration. The verbage, the actual writing is a human endeavor. God does not so much pick up his Mont Blanc and send memos to the masses.

So the debate on the existence of God is also that it is at odds with science. Does anyone remember the series of articles late last year by the Wall Street Journal on why more and more hard core scientists have come back to faith in God? It was quite good. But I digress.

The further challenge was Kirk Cameron (Mike Sever-Growing Pains) said he would prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that God existed with out using the Bible. Brave I would say. Want to know what the basis of his argument was? The 10 Commandments. Needless to say, he was quickly picked apart like string cheese.

So I sit and sift through trust agreements and I think about this. Friday morning I was too lazy to park 3 blocks away and take the trek to work. Nor did I have change for a meter or a $5 to park somewhere else. Because I know I will not get a ticket, and no one gets towed from Church, I pulled into the back parking lot of a beautiful cathedral. The people that work there are super cool. If they are having a function during the day- they put out a sign and we all respect it.

But that got me thinking about the things I have benefited from by means of Church in recent memory:

1. You can not get towed from Church
2. They provide food for homeless people. Especially downtown where there are lots of Churches, there is no reason that someone with no job is not getting fat off of 3 meals a day!
3. They provide classes and programs for all of the little kids around that area, who don't have much adult involvement.
4. When studying for something, the best place to go is Christ the King off of Campus. Even is no one is there, there is nun who opens the study rooms and brings you free coffee if you want it. It is air conditioned, heated, and most importantly QUIET
5. Then there is the whole community and fellowship aspect of it. Kudos to them.

That's what I got so far. I'm sure I will have more but this is what it is now. and looking at that, it occurs to me, whether or not you are Christian, whether or not you believe 110%, You have to acknowledge that we are better off as an aggregate whole to have this institution somewhere near us. Because it is so voluntary and requires nothing of you. You give out of respect, yes... even I ante up when Tourettes drags me to Church.

She whispers "it's my church, you don't have to do that" but my take is... it is the house of God. The God. and I would do it anywhere else I saw or felt God.

Maybe the amusement comes from seeing people look for a literal God. And I reflect on Gibran's conception of being able to give charity with open hands and closed eyes... not needing the self serving bit of knowing where it goes or who knows you gave it... and having that be a reflection not of your good deed, but truly giving with the eyes of God. and I think that looking for the "universe creation factories" requires a lot of energy that a lot of people will regret when they come to know the purpose of their lives.

I do however fervently agree with Dana assertion that really questioning your faith does either strengthen it to something worth having. or settle you in a different way.

Jumping off my soap box know, before I look overly zealous and no one talks to me anymore :)

also...later post. The dream killer got mugged and beaten up in London on Friday. that's not funny, don't laugh.

what's your story?

So I'm listening to NPR on the way in this morning (SHUT UP! It's science Friday.) and there is a recording of a woman's story about growing up with epilepsy and the way people reacted to her seizures during her childhood. It is part of an on-going community art project where people go into these special booths and record a story. They are housed at the library of congress and I imagine there is an archive on NPR's website.

As I listen, I wonder... what would our defining story be? What would you talk about in a booth that gives the impression of privacy and the vague promise of anonymity... and you have one shot to go as long as you want. What would it be?

I think maybe it would be like a verbal blog? like what I do here but talking about it. and you would want to pick something that you really want to express as it is not unlimited and you want someone to listen. I think. hmmm dunno.

Today promises to be a good one. Blanca comes out the shop next week. JB is making dinner for me tonight. and the new shoes and I ran on Wednesday to great results. It was yesterday that was physically not so good.

As you recall the goal for the end of this year is to get into vigorous training schedule for triathalon for next year. I'm not saying I will be able to do the damn thing... as mommiey points out "you have issues... real limiting issues. You can't train and stop, you have to be consistent as an athlete to do these things (mom used to be a runner) but you as a person have to stop when your body tells you to."

argh.

Wednesday was the 1st day back in the gym from last Wednesday. With therapy the workouts have been spotty. So 1st day back was a beast... Anti-gravity class (think the total gym machine) abs for 1/2 an hour, then 2 rounds of circuit and a mile on the track. and I was still able to walk after. not bad.

Today is circuit and 2 laps on track. Maybe we'll see how the 4.2 miles of the lakes do this weekend. plus I have new tape to wrap my knee under the brace :)

The only other thing I have is no more posting Bama. We're done there. No issues. I wasted too much thought on someone not worth it. my bad.

oh and I love A-rod. Since the Ken Griffy days with the Mariners... but maybe leaving the yankees? my favoritest team ever? really... and the cheating on his wife (insert horrified-shocked-saddened expression that was mixed with no surprise what so ever!). grrrr.

I do like the fans making fun of him with the masks though. C'mon that is freakin funny.

"Plays Well With Others"

That is me. Or at least it will be.

It is on a shirt and I guess I should buy the shirt.

Further, the Malty Milt Head is a fantastic asset for me to have. He happened to call on the day of interview with uber-awesome consulting firm in my city. He is beside himself that he called on THAT day. We schedule debriefing coffee for post-interview. Speaking of coffee... I have great coffee today. I bought it in a specialty shop in New Orleans.... for $10 for a tiny bag it had better be amazing! it is.

So yesterday I get the call to have 2nd interview with hiring manager. which the MMH is convinced it is due to the serendipitous event of HIM calling ME. Usually if we lose each other for months at a time, it is me that drops the call or text of "How are you, whatcha doing? Tell me you still exist and schedule some face time so I remember what you look like!"

Further, his stance of "let's work on you and figure out what was up with the 'no'" may have started to pay off. This is the guy who owned his own company and sold it, then moved to VP of a telecom company, then pharmaceuticals... rounded out with medical equipment. His parents both have PhDs and chastise his mere Masters. (I should be so lucky to have such a problem).

He has been staffer and head cheese in many many powerful situations, so his criticisms are useful. and as he knows Bond and the extent to which I need to be handled with kid gloves.

But in some ways I can see the progress. Even from the superstitious weirdo.

His further analysis of consulting firm is that the last interview is to make sure I play well with others. His great big sage advice "THINK BEFORE YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH!!!!! PLEASE FILTER!!!! NO JUST WINGING IT!!!' and when (i say if) I get this job... he is paying for obnoxious dinner.

and how great would it be if we could schedule it between the 5 days that separate our birthdays. Did I tell you that Bunny's is 2 days after mine? We are trying to do Destin for that weekend.

I heart Bunny. She mailed me an encouragement card and I did a goofy dance at the mail box.

also, had quarterly review at work yesterday... apparently I ROCK on paper... so they would get the benefit of a 2 week notice. :)

oh and MMH sent me this as our horror-scope today.

The smiles that people will be giving you today will carry a slightly more risque message than 'Hi, how ya doing?' -- there is a lot of flirtatious energy around you today, and romance is most definitely favored. All this attention will leave you feeling good and ready to move a relationship to the next level. It's time to stop beating around the bush and tell that certain someone what you are feeling. They have been waiting for you to make the first move for a while. -


.......right.... today's theme DjMark - 111bpm - Maroon 5 - Makes me Wonder because I like this version.

Indecisive Squirrels Get No Sympathy.

Let me go ahead and explain that. Driving somewhere with someone a squirrel ran into the road and I hit the brakes. He stopped in the middle of the road, I stopped in the middle of the road. He faked left, I eased off the gas... he faked right, I hit the brakes. Whoever was next to me said "GO! What are you waiting for?" I say "I'm not going to hit him!"

He says... "ok, K... yes we love all of the bunnies and fluffy creatures of the world... BUT INDECISIVE SQUIRRELS GET NO SYMPATHY! If he doesn't have the good sense to get out of the road, hit him!"

I disagree. The Squirrel does not understand the concept of the road and cars. He should not be persecuted for our need to get somewhere 20 seconds sooner.


...more later.

... Here's more : Jessica Simpson should not speak.

this is a quote from an article where she is discussing her big rack and small bum. I will grant that things can get taken out of context... but really?

I dress for men," admits Jess, whose dad-manager-string puller Joe once famously observed of her double-Ds, "You can't cover those suckers up!" "I dress for men and myself. If I'm dressing for men, then I know it's good for myself!"

She can sing... but like much of the celebrity world... she just should not speak. I just don't have the patience to expound upon the 18 things wrong with that statement.

Pending: part II

Just because something smacks of "Daddy Issues"...

doesn't make it not true.

This is a good one.

Do you have issues with your parents/the way you were raised? I contend that most of us do in some form or fashion.

Has anyone sought to analyse you over what they think they know of your "situation"? I contend most of us have.

Does the opposite sex seek to explain your approach towards (non) relationship with them on the basis of those issues? Or bring it up in an argument? I further submit that this is something that is a textbook kidney punch... and illegal to boot.

Right, so my parents divorced when I was young. I don't remember any of it, I was young. But it was apparently messy and ugly and my dad was a bad bad man. He is now dead and I never knew him. He remarried and has a whole other family that I have never met and do not feel the need to. He did not want my sister or I, he never made an effort. Mom over compensated for lack of dad... my sister is the one with daddy issues.

I have heard several times over the years, in what purported to be adult romantic relationships that I have issues with it. I do not so much think so. I had surrogate relationship with mom's older brother. He was father-figure. My sister, Kris, had another uncle who happens to be the worst person ever. So she choose badly from jump.

It truly has never been an issue. Except Shy jabs that it is. He further says he is not pressing the issue and one day I will talk about it. Over the weekend I say "you're full of it, bring it!"

Shy: I say you have issues because you do not talk about him at all.
K: Because there is nothing to talk about

Shy: I think it is because it is painful
K: No, I'm pretty sure I would know if it was.

Shy: We don't have to talk about this now.
K: Let's. Let's talk about it, so we don't ever have to do this again.

Shy: Did you love him?
K: No. there was nothing to love. There was nothing in him specifically or specially for me.

OMG!

Why does that last line of conversation look familiar? Because it has been my reason for saying no in a couple of situations. Wow. spell it backwards... wow.

Flashback to JB who has known me too well for too long. Countered with Happy Drunk Ken Doll because they have conflicting ideas of my approach to relationships.

JB: 1. Says I have been a jerk to some really great guys (ok, so she is right) and that I sort of squash them with my expectation. and that I expect them to do back flips through rings of fire. (maybe when I was younger. I've grown up a lot!)

HDKD: calls me McMahon. I.e. Chris McMahon who falls in love every other day... and out of love the very next day. He says I get happy puppy to quickly and then countdown to when I cannot stand said person. But the minute the "relationship" is off the table, I think that might have been the greatest person ever.

So maybe he has a point also.

After all, your friends know you on what you do, what you say, and what they see.

So bringing it all together... I talked to the Dream Killer yesterday who is back in London from Amsterdam. and he says he is considering spending next spring studying abroad in London and next summer in Brazil. I say "rock on". He is under the impression this would be devastating to me (the reality of it was that I was watching TV and only 1/2 listening).

But he picks a fight because he was expecting me to say "no, don't go! stay here, You have a reason to stay here... ME!" ummmm nope. why? because there is nothing in there for me. He "wants" relationship but doesn't have it in him to humble himself ... nor will he ever be able to afford the ring it would take (not that to marry it would take a massive ring... but we have history and he's messed up too many times. It would take a sick nasty diamond FROM HIM).

Further he says that he calls so much because he thinks I have abondonment issues. That he is reassuring me that he is coming home. Really? I thought it was because you lost all emotion minus residual loyalty from me because you pitched for a relationship while trying to sleep with nasty trailer park "bohemian" trash, and you are trying to somehow make up for that.

ugh. I had a point. what happened to it?

here is the today's theme. Only because it is on repeat.

Sophie Ellis Bextor - Music Gets The Best Of Me

Beautiful Backhands.

So literally that is the back of some one's hand. With Henna on it. and you thought I was going to go for the uber-obvious tennis pic. Imagination, people.

Yesterday was weird.

I have new running shoes. I got them from an uber-specialty running shop that analyses the way you walk/ run and finds the perfect shoes for you. The ones I got are by Brooks. They were $120 w/tax and they are ugly. But they feel amazing. I have had the same shin splint that feels like a fracture for almost a month. It was time to change the shoes because I am still working out on it. I have never spent that much on athletic shoes. Mom chimes in w/ "really? because I've spent more than that on your sporting/leisure equipment!"

So we'll see if these things are worth it. As they are un-becoming I will certainly only wear them to work out it (shallow I know... and I tried so hard to pick cuter ones... but they didn't fit/feel the same). Below are my shoes.

Back-handedness... Out of the mouth of a woman I know superficially at my place of work "What are you still doing here? This job is beneath you, you are too talented, too experienced, too good for this ... blah blah"

She ambushed me at the water fountain. I said something like "I know, I'm looking. For a while this job allowed me to do all of the other things etc.." But the sad truth is that she is right. and my boss and I had a battle of wills this week. Which was stupid on her part. Why? because she got her bum handed to her when I was out for 9 weeks. Another peer is about to have some surgery and she will be out for 6-8 weeks.

My ideal situation would be to quit the day my peer leaves. and my new boss will be up a creek. and I will forget that she exists.

The battle came over my non-schedule. I come and go as I please. You get 8 hours plus out of me. I am the best at what I do and I help my other people. If you want to drop me into a structured 8-5... go ahead but you just shot yourself in the foot. How did she over look that she needs me? no matter, much like a guy who fails to behave himself, I will not tell you what you should know. you will know it when you don't have it. ugh.

Mr. Working on his Masters in Philosophy is going to have a child. With a girl he has dated for 2 months-ish. Weird. Not an ideal circumstance, but he is going to be a great father. and I look around and think I am ready to be open to a relationship and get to a point where a baby is a possibility...but I don't know what I would do if I had just baby. I guess I'd figure it out as I went along.

Ick. goofy disjointed post. Also, got a call-back from big consulting firm about a Corporate Training Co-ordinator. I could do that. Now I just need Bunkles to tell me what he does (that is what he does for my company). He's coming in early to have coffee w/me.

I am so ready for something good to happen. Also, I feel like Shy is my big test in life. He offered me a job working for him. I do not want to work for him. He puts $50K on the table, 1/2 of it being a non-taxed check. To be office manager of a dialysis center he is trying to get up and running. But I can't. He is my friend on a good day and an acquaintance when he shows his bum. That does not mix well w/ a professional relationship. Even for $50K. I haven't given the official no but I know better than to take the devil's offer.

You guys can email your thoughts on this... I'm in massive need of guidance.

I approach "friendly debates" like competing on Survivor.

1. I am in it to win...

2. I will be patient for as long as it takes.

3. I will Outwit, Outplay and Outlast (TM)

4. I can concede the battle but not the war

bring it Bee-otch! (yeeeeeaaaaahhhh bumblebee!)

case in point, I am a day late on the David Vitter (U.S. R. Senator from LA) info. I saw it on MSNBC yesterday and laughed until I cried. I am 2 days late on posting.

I laughed until I cried because Jenny Bear helped out with his campaign. She was uber-committed and politically backing of this douche. When we lived together our routine consisted of Saturday morning coffee while washing clothes... before Tourettes woke up hung-over from Friday night.

Coffee was usually several hours of talking about everything under the sun. Lot of politics as well... with a background rumble of cartoons (for ambiance).

I take no issue with Vitter, but I did sort of cock my head to the side over his "Family Values" platform and strong righteousness. I'm not saying I don't believe in those things. I do. But if a public figure wears this as his super-hero cloak... note 2 things:

* You better believe it 110%

* and you better live it 110%

Meaning you do not get to do anything wrong EVER! why? Because you look like the worst sort of slimy politician... because you were supposed to be the good guy. If not EVEN you can get it right, we are all f*cked.

Our further battle to the death was the proposed bill that banned same sex marriages. Ok, I said it was a long time ago. The issue I took with the stands of politicians was a religious bias. I argued from the stance of "We live in America, we have a separation of Church and State. You can feel strongly anti-same sex marriage... but argue it without bringing Christianity into it and tell me why it's wrong. The idea of marriage that is controversial is an institution recognized by the state. It is separate from what the Church recognizes which the state can not outlaw and the church doesn't have to recognize. People still live in union..."

Enter Vitter to put his foot in his mouth. How sacred are those vows he righteously upheld? and the is the apology now because he suddenly feels bad, or he suddenly got caught? hmmmm.... where was the askance of forgiveness when he smited his marriage?

hee hee.

So I talk to JB today.... and she says "I was waiting for you to call me. Ok you got THIS ONE, but you are still backing Jindal and he's a Republican too, so I won that one." hee hee.

Also, the bribe taking- Urkel looking Cleo Fields is running again for State Senate as the incumbent.... so the Politician won't be getting that one. Here is hoping I'm wrong on that one. I will still support and back him.. but a little quieter and more demurely.... he is after all running against an incumbent.

Idealism is expensive.

I think it may be the most expensive trait I encompass. Even more so than petulance, shoe fetishes or being a mini snob. Mini because I can not afford to be a big-girl snob. So I've retaliated by being Bond Girl on a Budget. Very super hero like... very super heroine looking... but today my entire outfit was massively on sale at the Banana Republic.

and yet...

So I need a new job. I am still aggressively b*tch slapping sites w/my resume. The hits are coming, slow at times, then in spurts... then offers I cannot afford to take. Or the no from progressive and Pfizer which was uncharted territory.

Talking to Dk (yes I am now talking to him. 4 times a day. He calls 4 times a day. every day. it's hard to stay that mad for that long!) he says "really? offers you CAN'T AFFORD to take, really K? Dramatic much?"

no. and i resent the implication.

I did get a hit that made me sit right up. Coordinator for a new non-profit initiative to promote literacy in my parish (think county) as a test and ultimately state-wide school system. Whoa! I want it. Yes, please. Now, please.

I got this nibble from the local government and based on teaching for JA and other stuff. Very exciting. So what the problem is?

I will tell you and then we will have a deafening moment of silence for how broke I am about to be.

It is under the umbrella (brella...brella. I hate that song) of the AmeriCorps. This job is a full time position for appx. $11,000 for the 1 year commitment. F*CK. ohhh and at the end you get a 4,500 stipend to go towards educational expenses. Basically Loans or Tuition.

I am going to be sick.

Bianca quips "No, you are about to be a weekend bar-tender." I give her an EDS to which she snickers and says "You are too passionate about this. You have already talked yourself into it. You and that goofy bleeding heart". ugh.

Dream Killer's take? He is about to be a law clerk for the Dept of Insurance and still getting student loans. He looks like a slimy weasely-snake hissing "I look really good to you right now, don't I?"

ummm. no. no you do not.

Mr. Johnny Walker.. he looks like a prince among men.

I am further saddened by this as I get ready for work this morning and imagine how much I could cut my expenses and how little I could live on. I remember the days when my hand lotion (Clarins) was a luxery. Like the only way I got it was because my mommy would feel sorry for me and take to to a department store make up counter and buy me stuff.

Today I am a Decepticon... Specifically Starscream.

and new starscream too... with all of his dreams of grandeur.

why Decepticon you ask? even though i thoroughly heart the BumbleBee

Because I cheated on my girlfriend and she kind of knows... and she threatened to stab me in the hand with a pen if she gets confirmation that I cheated.

Wow the explanation of that one sentence is going to be too long. Off we go.

During Bunny and I's date, it was after work and I'd worn a dress. She went home after work so she showed up comfortable in jeans. So people at the restaurant kind of thought we were together. Which was funny. So when we saw people we knew and they came to say "hi" she offered "between K and I, I am the girl in this relationship because I called it 1st!" rat bastard.

So weeks later Bianca and I are having dinner at the same restaurant and I tell that story. and finish with "so between you and I, if people think we are together I get to be the girl because I called it!"

So her birthday was yesterday. B-day dinner got pushed to earlier movie and then dinner tonight. The movie is Transformers. A while ago she made me promise to see it with her. I said sure. and I meant to wait...

but then on the 4th of July.... it was rainy... and Tourettes called early in the morning with tickets... and Bianca was out of town... and I was weak.

On the phone today we are picking the time, and out of the blue she says "YOU'VE SEEN IT! I can hear it in your voice!" to which I promptly respond "NO! why would you say that?"

because I am the best liar in the world.

and by best I mean the only way I could be worse would be if there was a ticker above my head that allowed you to read my thoughts.

To which she says "ok, but if I get the slightest inkling that you have seen it, you see this pen... I will stab you in the hand with this pen"

I say "which pen?" get it? we were on the phone.

Right. so going to see the transformers again, and still very very excited.

Is dating a married man like buying a fake Fendi?

That is a serious question. I foresee this post being a bit disjointed. I shall try to connect the dots as quickly as possible.

and at some point... most young ladies actually have to settle the question with themselves... Would you date a married man?

For me that would not be the question... Mine would be... What do you hope to get out of this? and is it different than philosophy you go into dating anyone with? I contend that it is.

It comes up as Tourettes has a new roommate. A girl she has know forever and ever. I met her a couple of weeks ago and I take no issue with her. I tell Tourettes so and she is ECSTATIC, because apparently people do not so much warm up to Febreeze (as I so dub her!). After yesterday, I see why.

She has lost her mother and long-time boyfriend both recently. Mom to terminal cancer. Ex-boyfriends is terminally an a*shole. She is 30 (?) and an accountant type person. She has small hands and feet. Like a rat. She is the 1st Puerto Rican I've ever met with a VERY southern accent. It just doesn't make sense. She is domestic, Tourettes needs that. She is nice enough... She has a "sugar daddy" as she calls him, who is her ex-boyfriend. He is very married and has been since the day she met him.

I agreed to an adult version of a slumber party. It sucked. It was lots of drama. I remember these being better. I left early.

I follow Febreeze around as she is neurotically cleaning. I help. She says the house cannot look like this when her "man" comes over. I say, trying to be tactful, "oh, so things are working out with you and the ex?" no. "So you are seeing someone new?" nope. "err?"

Intro "sugar daddy". She explains that while he is married, it is not his fault that he cheats... he's in an arranged marriage. That he divorced the love of his life for, because his parents did not approve. Everyone loves him, he's very charming, he's such a sweetheart and (here is the cherry on the cake) once upon a time she thought it would be awful being the OTHER WOMAN but it's really not that bad.

That's funny. It kind of looks like he has no balls and you have no self respect/esteem.

I don't want to be judgemental. I really don't. But really?

I ask if she thinks she will ever marry. She says she does not want to and what is the point. She cites LA's common law marriage laws as proof of her legitimacy without a license. Yes, but if someone else has said license over him... you aren't entitled to squat. Even if he pays your rent for over a year.

Now I am trying to wrap my head around is what she is getting out of the arrangement. Want to know what it is? Dinner. and sometimes a he pays for things like a hair cut.

Granted dinner is Ruth's Chris, Sullivan's and Primo's (all really nice restaurants here). So you are sinning your soul, shredding your reputation, and creating a situation that perpetually makes you feel bad about yourself for better food?

Most guys you meet who want to take you out will take you to the best place within their means. So this is not special. Plus we all have a certain something..... what is it?..... what do they call it?... how do you say it in this language?.....

Oh yeah, IT'S CALLED A MUTHA F*CKIN JOB... FOR WHICH YOU GET PAID IN US DOLLARS!

So, I leave Febreeze and take my wine back to the couch and fill my not-going-to-get-me-in-trouble-mouth with cheese, crackers, apples and caramel. all at once. Tourettes is laughing at me. She says "You have to remember... She is fat. This is the best she thinks she is ever going to do"

Here's where the Fendi comes in. I currently do not own a Fendi bag, nor a Prada. One day I will but for today it is beyond my means (at least the the one I would want). I am trying to be more educated, more qualified and higher up on the pay scale so that I may be able to afford such a thing. If I marry well and the hubby is able to provide such a thing, cheers.

In the face of lack of Fendi, I have seen lots of fakes. lots. But I don't want a fake cheap purse. Even if no one else knows it is fake, I would know. I am also not willing to spend the chicken feed I make on such a thing and be able to do things like put gas in my car. so the big girl decision is "not yet on the Fendi".

Is Febreeze's non-relationship with a married man like buying a fake Fendi? A real relationship being the actual designer bag? Is it settling for something that looks a hell of a lot like the real thing... without the most essential things that make it legitimately worth having?

and in the face of selling herself for stuff... when it all comes down to it... if all you had was the real Fendi bought by a married man... would it be worth it? When everyone you know doesn't respect you because of your public non-relationship... how good does that bag really look?

Back to this compared to dating. Is it not the same as "dating" a man for where he takes you and what he buys you? Gold-digging as it were. That is wrong too. But the married thing makes it worse. He has a wife and 2 kids. If he is a Sh*t of a man then you are replaceable. Yes, if not you, then it would be someone else. Even if it is you, it is not only you and the next one gets younger and prettier. You are helping him to disrespect the idea and ideal of family. and if you don't think he chooses them over you... he does it everyday. By staying married.

Summation. I take no over-arching issue with Febreeze. What she does or does not do is her business. But I do not respect her. and I don't see us being best buds... and I don't think I'd spend lots of time in public with her either. How does the saying go? Lay down with dogs, get up with fleas? The married man is Arabic. I have known of him for years. I don't respect him either. But he has picked up my tab in better bars out of a kind of respect. He thinks I would tell his wife. I don't think enough of either of them to do such a thing.

I'm still holding out for the real Fendi. with all of the legitimacy it implies.

Blue Crushes all around...or Blue Hawiians...whichever

You must be 18 to serve alcohol.

You must be 21 to consume alcohol (and buy lottery tickets. and cigarettes?)

You must be 21 to flirt with me.

You must be 24 to take me out.

You must be at least 26-ish to be taken serious by me.

So those last couple are kind of tentative. :)

I say this in light of few recent events. 1st of TRANSFORMERS WAS AWESOME! I don't remember the last time I was in a movie theater transfixed and clapping like a child. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Tourettes threatened to sit on me if I didn't shut up. So what, she weighs like 2 lbs. I can take her.

As we leave she says "That was so great... I feel like we should have an adventure! Or just lunch." We had lunch.

But... I have drinks tentatively scheduled for tomorrow evening... with a 21 year old bartender. This is not good. I said yes because I really wanted to say no. But this is how we are to have experience and stop being awkward. Yes? ok, I have no idea.

Coffee this morning yielded the girlies and I talking about patterns. Patterns in our lives, our mistakes, our decisions. and how to change such things. Lemon may have been a repeat of another guy who tried to date me. Super sweet and I kind of didn't recognize how special it was. Because it is. Or I just didn't know what to do with it.

So you promise yourself that next time you will be different the next time, and then it comes back... and you do the same thing. Crazy right?

Intro bartender. Bartender at a restaurant/bar that I've been dragged to a good couple of times in the past couple of months. He is always sweet sweet. He makes me cool stuff and entertains me when I do not want to talk to anyone else at the bar. The last time I was there he asked for my #. I took his instead (which means I'm not going to call. Eventually I will call a # I have been given... it just hasn't happened yet). He puts his # in my phone... and calls himself. So now he has my #. Very good.

I deleted his #. He just hasn't been around long enough to earn a permanent place (like my phone is permanent... do know how many I've been through in the last year?!)

But he texts. He's cool. He's in summer school. This does not look good. I didn't know he was 21 until I'd already agreed to have drinks. But I am still going to go... if only to get used to the idea... and learning to be open and comfortable with myself. (ohhhh I sound like a loser!)

Which oddly enough is why I had lunch with the 22 year old. How did I miss that he was not that cute? Scotch. That was how. The night I met him, Scotch was my best friend. He showed up at the Olive garden in shorts, tee shirt, and flip flops. After expressing for several days how much he looked forward to this. No, that looks like you are a slob. That is what it looks like. It also looks like lack of effort.

Yes I acknowlege I am spoiled. And what makes it worse is that not even retardo Dream Killer can say he doesn't know how to behave himself. He changed his cell to an international plan and bought a cheaper cell in London to call me 4 times a day every day. Yes guys know how to pursue a prize and don't ever let me hear you say differently.

The conversation was cool but it was evident that we were just on different wave lengths. He's never been to college and is fiercely proud of being a "blue collar" worker. There is nothing wrong with that. But he brought much ex-girlfriend issues to the table. literally. Which looks out of place for a 1st date and also looks like it is not my problem. So no more him.

My friends try to pass it off as he is young and he doesn't know any better. Which is cool. It is not like I told him that I would never answer the phone when he calls again. I did politely thank him for lunch. But the experience itself was good.

But yeah... we are about to have one more parameter for saying no... age. who knew I would get the young ones? What's up with that? It's not like I get the option of Floridian surfers ;) like some people.

I am a techno- idiot.

...otherwise known as ... "Come back, Michael...come back..."

Did my words look like were fading away... they were supposed to. With 'I love youuuuuuu' whispered at the end.

So one of the big changes as my workplace is that internet radion/tv/streaming media has been blocked. Or just the big ones. Like YouTube and Pandora. Or maybe just YouTube and Pandora. Now I seek other ways to amuse myself. and have successfully found internet radio/TV/and streaming media.

I found a jazz/big band/standards radio station which was cool. It has a link to Michael Buble's website, which I like. I click. he sings.

I bounce around to "Everything" and sigh to the beginning of something else... and I somehow managed to mis-click... because now there is silence.

And I am pouting at the computer screen. Because I am sure it is his fault (this moniter has never liked me). So Plan A was pout and stare until the sound of Michael's voice came back.

Oddly enough, that isn't going really well.

Plan B was to try to fix it myself. As I am still locked out of all internal computer systems, I figure 'How much harm can I really do?'

Plan C is to suck it up and ask an IT guy. But then I would have to admit that I am just spreading the papers around to look like I did something. No, we cannot do that.

Plan B it is.

Please work, please please please.

Update: I pulled the plug out of the wall. plugged back in and turned computer back on. It works now :)

The Future of Medicine Should Scare You

"He's lovable like you! There have been times that I wanted to pop your head off and put it at the top of a tree with you body in a whole other tree... but given a little time, I can't stay mad at you and I would spend every cent I have to put you back together again."

This was the analogy my mom gives me on my way into work. WTF?

One of her little case techs is in BIG trouble and she is not taking this well. We've established everybody loves my mom. Especially all the newbie hospital staff, case techs, and kids that work at the hospital trying to get into medical school.

On a good day she lets them hide behind a desk and study while at work. plus she feeds them, so now they follow her like a mother duck... on a bad day she chases them with a broom or throws things if she has to- to get stuff done. She puts the fear of God into them... with a very English accent even.

So Techie is a lovable goof. He has been accepted to LSU-Shreveport (med-school) for August.

He was bopping around on Friday. In an operating room where they are working on a carotid artery (major artery... if they mess up... you die) some genius gives Techie a piece of dry ice. He put it in a blown up latex glove with the intention of hanging around until the ice popped the glove.

He was not in the room when it popped. It did not disturb the surgery because it was almost done. But it popped very loudly. That is beside the point.

Someone finds the glove and no one knows who it belongs to. Until it is being discussed in the hall, and Techie hears it and says "Darn! I missed it! I wanted to be there for it!" So he busted himself.

The Doc in the OR reported it to HR who sent him home. Techie is informed and hides behind my mom. Mom should have been told 1st... she is the supervisor. Doc was highly upset so he didn't tell her. There is nothing mom can do at this point, Techie has to appear before a committee.

It's about to get worse.

Fast forward to Monday. Doc has had the weekend to think about it... or more specifically to have his ego stroked and righteousness inflamed by an Anesthesia Tech who did not get into med school. Doc is also going to have a chit chat with the committee and pen a letter to LSU-Shreveport. So that Techie may not have plans for the coming fall.

Mom is not taking this well.

She calls me to ask "Should I call Techie and tell him to grovel? Have his dad write letters and grovel as well. If he doesn't throw his weight behind his son... He's not going to med school... he will be devastated. I don't think he even understands the severity of this. Blast you kids!"

Hey! I resent that.

The other thing is that the Doc thinks my mom takes Techie's side. and the only reason he has been productive for a year and a half is because mom is behind him with a broom. I say that makes her effective. If there is anything of value in you, my mom will find it. So mom can give her professional opinion... which is only that he has potential.

The only other way she gets honorable mention is that Techie once brought his guitar to work. and played it at the nurses station with a back surgery in progress behind him. She grabbed him by the ear and raised hell in a closet. The guitar has not shown up since. So she has the merit of being effective.

But Techie is young minded. He does immature things and has a lot of growing up to do, yes. Maybe med school with straighten him up, but maybe not. and is this what you want in your Operating room? Removing your spleen... or other miscellaneous surgeries.

It is nice mom asked my opinion, but I know I am the sounding board for her to bounce off of. She is going to try her damnedest to save him. Because that is the bitty bitty moms that she is.