Just because something smacks of "Daddy Issues"...

doesn't make it not true.

This is a good one.

Do you have issues with your parents/the way you were raised? I contend that most of us do in some form or fashion.

Has anyone sought to analyse you over what they think they know of your "situation"? I contend most of us have.

Does the opposite sex seek to explain your approach towards (non) relationship with them on the basis of those issues? Or bring it up in an argument? I further submit that this is something that is a textbook kidney punch... and illegal to boot.

Right, so my parents divorced when I was young. I don't remember any of it, I was young. But it was apparently messy and ugly and my dad was a bad bad man. He is now dead and I never knew him. He remarried and has a whole other family that I have never met and do not feel the need to. He did not want my sister or I, he never made an effort. Mom over compensated for lack of dad... my sister is the one with daddy issues.

I have heard several times over the years, in what purported to be adult romantic relationships that I have issues with it. I do not so much think so. I had surrogate relationship with mom's older brother. He was father-figure. My sister, Kris, had another uncle who happens to be the worst person ever. So she choose badly from jump.

It truly has never been an issue. Except Shy jabs that it is. He further says he is not pressing the issue and one day I will talk about it. Over the weekend I say "you're full of it, bring it!"

Shy: I say you have issues because you do not talk about him at all.
K: Because there is nothing to talk about

Shy: I think it is because it is painful
K: No, I'm pretty sure I would know if it was.

Shy: We don't have to talk about this now.
K: Let's. Let's talk about it, so we don't ever have to do this again.

Shy: Did you love him?
K: No. there was nothing to love. There was nothing in him specifically or specially for me.

OMG!

Why does that last line of conversation look familiar? Because it has been my reason for saying no in a couple of situations. Wow. spell it backwards... wow.

Flashback to JB who has known me too well for too long. Countered with Happy Drunk Ken Doll because they have conflicting ideas of my approach to relationships.

JB: 1. Says I have been a jerk to some really great guys (ok, so she is right) and that I sort of squash them with my expectation. and that I expect them to do back flips through rings of fire. (maybe when I was younger. I've grown up a lot!)

HDKD: calls me McMahon. I.e. Chris McMahon who falls in love every other day... and out of love the very next day. He says I get happy puppy to quickly and then countdown to when I cannot stand said person. But the minute the "relationship" is off the table, I think that might have been the greatest person ever.

So maybe he has a point also.

After all, your friends know you on what you do, what you say, and what they see.

So bringing it all together... I talked to the Dream Killer yesterday who is back in London from Amsterdam. and he says he is considering spending next spring studying abroad in London and next summer in Brazil. I say "rock on". He is under the impression this would be devastating to me (the reality of it was that I was watching TV and only 1/2 listening).

But he picks a fight because he was expecting me to say "no, don't go! stay here, You have a reason to stay here... ME!" ummmm nope. why? because there is nothing in there for me. He "wants" relationship but doesn't have it in him to humble himself ... nor will he ever be able to afford the ring it would take (not that to marry it would take a massive ring... but we have history and he's messed up too many times. It would take a sick nasty diamond FROM HIM).

Further he says that he calls so much because he thinks I have abondonment issues. That he is reassuring me that he is coming home. Really? I thought it was because you lost all emotion minus residual loyalty from me because you pitched for a relationship while trying to sleep with nasty trailer park "bohemian" trash, and you are trying to somehow make up for that.

ugh. I had a point. what happened to it?

here is the today's theme. Only because it is on repeat.

Sophie Ellis Bextor - Music Gets The Best Of Me