"I've been to the dark side, I've eaten the candy!"

Sound-byte come courtesy of Tourettes.

We spent the 4.2 miles of the lakes discussing the lack within ourselves. and how unfortunate that it may be the very same lack.

Which brings to light an interesting question... Is our issue the same because our approach is the same? Are we drawn to each other because of these similarities or have we fed off of each other to create similar difficiencies?

Bottom line: we are trying to be better. and better in having and keeping relationships. all relationships, not just romantic ones.

Why? because the Church she works for held a Love & Respect conference... and she has the tapes. and is explaining how men and women think differently. and we are figuring out that we do not know anything.

She further says that while I may think I "put it out there" for a certain someone... I ran when he said "talk" and that was not good. She calls me petulant that I think he is supposed to recognize that I am the Sun. Because he is formidible star in himself. and lots of people may think he is great also... and be willing to express it better and throw it out there with more effort than I do.

Sound familiar? Like David's gripe about Bunny... and why she is not his bunny. So bunny has the problem we do? I dunno.

Did Dream Killer call it when he points out an entitlement complex? Well how much stock can we really put into what DK says. He ripped me a new one yesterday. Apparently, though I am spending more time at the gym- and stuff has moved... I am not healthier. I didn't change my eating habits, I have more grey hairs and am more stressed, I am skittish and unsettled, and haven't finished my personal statement or apps. Hence I lack focus. and he thinks I'm losing too much weight and says the point of going to the gym was to be healthier.

I say "No, no I just wanted to look a certain way". He lost his cookies right about there.

He further goes on to say that is what he loved about his last g/f (though he swears they weren't "dating"). He says that while she was no me... she was comfortable with her, and that made her slightly more attractive. Ok, I get that everybody is incredibly comfortable with themselves except for me. So the other burning question is how do I get there?

In other news... the tables have officially flipped. On a certain someone... she says "call him. talk to him" I say... I can't. and I can't. How can I? How could I? He is supposed to make over effort. Not me. (and besides... is it not glaringly obvious that I don't know what I'm doing?!)

I feel like I sound like and idiot and today blogging isn't helping.

But the point we are trying to get to is clearing the hurdle to actual boyfriend. Why? ummm mom bought me a wedding sari and I feel just a little bit like a loser that I can't get there in my own time. Maybe I'm just now doing this right. What sucks worse, is that I am spoiled when it comes to guys. Again, as much as you know women who meet all the worst guys... granted I've met them too... but my ratio for princes is just to great for me not to find one that fits. ick.