1. I had to pick something up from my office on Saturday. As I parked in front of my building the skies set up to cry bloody murder. I popped out and ran upstairs to get what I came for. On my way back I was treated to an interpretive dance by a piece of one of my SIMS (a construction hard hat) doing it's American Beauty Bag impression (getting knocked around by the wind). Watching it bounce all I could think of was "How like one of my SIMS to lose his head!".
2. Waiting at Sears' Auto Shop for what seemed like and eternity waiting for an oil change and alignment taught me several things...
a) I am never going to be a professional bull rider. I know you were all hoping to come see me ride a bull but somehow that does not look like the best career choice for this girl. Maybe it's getting dragged through the mud by a big bull, maybe it is the charming horns that just happen to catch the belt of a young cow boy and toss him up like he's a fluffy kernal of popping corn. No ma'am. Not this girl!
b) if you leave me in the waiting room for longer than 15 minutes by myself, I will seriously weigh the pros and cons of spending $200 on a welding helmet with a Smurf on the side. I'm just saying... No, I don't weld, but what if I took it up... then I might need a helmet... and what if the one with the Smurf on the side becomes rare and elusive... I will kick myself for not jumping on the chance.
c) ditto for all of the above on $50 welding gloves. Now I have other gloves but what if I needed these specific gloves. They are $50! I bet they can do magic! For $50 they better!
3. Wait for it... Kris's newest 'please try to reach through the phone and smack me' plea is going to be an addition to the list of ALL of the things I have been given in life that she has not, which is why I am perfectly perfect and she is not ... American Citizenship. Why? Her green card expired several years ago, along with the passport. Know what the sweetest K in the world did for her big sis? Spent an obnoxious amount of $ to overnight a package with all the forms, office addresses, phone numbers, and directions to get to the embassies etc. to renew the damn things complete with a cashier's check to cover her fees... know what the genius Kris did? who knows, the sh*t is still expired. Does that make her illegal... why yes, yes it does. nice.
Now she's had her foot run over by a forklift and her employer is not so much jumping through hoops to help her with her claim. Guess what boys and girls... depending on her illegal status- she may not have one. Mommiey to the rescue. Mom's took the red eye out of N.O. (complete with drop off and guest appearance from Sleepy Kiran) to NY. To go help her baby. That is what all of mom's vacation this year has become. Going home to do the ceremony for her brother passing away, helping out with my cousin's wedding, taking care of my grandmother, and now the black hole of despair that is my sister. It's wrong. My family expects and takes so much from her. and she keeps making me promise to always be my sister's keeper... the bad part is... if something were to happen to her I know me, I would not be ok in the slightest. In fact I suggst you come find me and sit next to me- don't say anything stupid but don't leave me alone. "Being my sister's keeper" would be me cutting my sister a check for every cent in my savings account and asking her to never never contact me again. the worst part is that I am not entirely kidding. If she would sell her status as my sister, I would buy it back in a heart beat.
How is it possible for one person to be a black hole of completely uselessness and and need? How is that possible. Who does that? All the angry ick. She doens't get better. and she never will. never. Damn, this was supposed to be a funny blog.
No comments:
Post a Comment