HI

Saturday Karma bit me in the bum. How? My Mouse pulled a disappearing act that lasted all of a painstakingly ridiculously scary hour. Sound familiar? Like maybe when this girl left Dream Killer in a bar?

Yeah it was a lot like that, but in the middle of the afternoon SMACK DAB IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FRENCH QUARTER. Since the only reason I stayed in the wedding party was because my mom is friend's with Bride-zilla's mom... I made my mom and grandma come with me to N.O for the wedding. Before it we enjoyed the beautiful day and the awesome jazz that really does come out of every crack in the sidewalk.

Speaking of Dream Killer... right so we broke up approximately 2 year ago. We are friends now. like real friends... I thought. He tried the mini-jab of asking me to 'go-steady' last friday with a 'feel-better' scotch. No dice. He asks why not and I stick to my guns (or gun as it were) and pull out the ace. Now bear in mind this is not the ONLY reason. But it is the safety. You do not get to argue this one. I know you care for me, I know you love me, but there is that one time you willfully and spitefully slammed me between a door and a wall. Translation: Never ever again.

To be fair, I forgive him. I forgave him so long ago- we even tried again after that. The reason it was still a no was because the next time he got upset with me I saw red and FREAKED. He tried to "hold" me (so HE says) and received a black eye for his efforts. It is not rational, but then again fear never is. And that is what he has the capacity to inspire in me. FEAR. and that makes it not worth it. He pouts and pontificates that we have grown as people etc. etc. and it not fair that I measure the sum of all of our time together on one incident. I say "No talkie for you".

Every time we come to this point I feel a little bad. But in truth he is a better non-boyfriend than he ever was a 'significant other'. The day we broke up was the last time I cried because of him. Not to say he doesn't say and do a**hole things... but he just isn't a good boyfriend. So we avoid him for a little while. Hopefully he'll get squashed by the Civil Code :)

oh and I thought I was done but... Bianca comes over to say she needs to come to the gym with me because she is working on cellulite- crazy girl does not have any. She pulls me into a conference room and lifts her skirt. I look away and she screetches "I'VE TOUCHED YOUR BOOB, YOU ARE GOING TO LOOK AT MY CELLULITE" and I am laughing so hard I can't breath. In my defense, I was only pointing out that you could not tell the difference between the gel in my bra and the part that was me. And I don't know if other people heard. Nice.