Hopefull 51... 1

Happy New Year and Stupid wonderful Lemon Muffin. Oh, and stupid warm fuzzies. ick. Back to the list, and let's try to finish this up. 51. I love Pineapple. I love Pineapple soda (slightly less than pear though) I love Pineapple martinis, all pineapple, all the time. with chicken, shrimp, on pizza... all about it. 50. I used to be addicted to a certain soap opera in early college, so the only time I would let myself watch it was on the treadmill at the gym. 49. When that stopped working I read stupid women's magazines... When I tired of the same drivel... 48. I now read men's magazines on the treadmill... Esqire, Maxim, Details and Fortune when I remember to buy one. 47. I hate the gender stereo types the differences between the magazines create, further, and reinforce. 46. I learn more from men's mags than women's 45. I hate to run. 44. I love having a fire in the fireplace. I love it so much I will not leave the house. I don't care if it is 80 degrees outside. I still see the need for a fire. 43. I take really hot showers. 42. I cannot stand cold showers...even in the middle of the summer. 41. I've stayed in my jammies all day today. I even went to the store in them. 40. Sometimes I drool when I sleep. The water buffalo said sometimes I snored. 39. Bear in mind he is the water buffalo because HE snored... so I don't think he should throw stones. 38. This past New Year's Eve I came face to face with grieving for people that are no longer in my life. 37. and then tourette's says things like, "You really don't have to know any- mutha- f-ing body. and she is right. every person you have in your life is a choice. and i don't regret mine. 36. I love potatoes. all things potato. yeah potato. 35. I wonder how much we really change... I am afraid of the same basic things I always have been. 34. I am afraid of being left/forgotten. and waiting forever for something that will not come. 33. I have the worst taste in music, ever. 32. I don't own anything I could not stand to lose. To be fair there is lots of my stuff that I love, but having to pack down and let go of so much... there isn't anything that I could not say "F it" 31. I think the war in Iraq was bloody wrong. and I thought that from day 1. 30. I think Bush is a monkey president. A monkey that could sign him name would have done better. 29. I am registered to vote as "undecided". 28. I am too much of a bleeding heart to go into politics and I recognize this. 27. One day I will write a book. not today. probably not tomorrow. But I feel that my writing now is a bunch of false starts to what I would want my life's product to be. 26. It is important to me to have such a product. 25. In a way I will never stop apologizing to mere raja. 24. He is why I have to be a better person. 23. I only sing in the car. and only when I am by myself. I am tone deaf... even though I sang in my school's choir for the longest. 22. Dangerous Beauty is my favorite movies of all time. It is what I rent when I am sad. 21. I have to buy new pants for work. While I am not really losing much weight... stuff is shifting and my pants don't fit anymore. They are falling off and it doesn't looks so good. 20. I want children. 19. at least 2. 18. Children for me means marriage. 17. I don't quite see how marriage will happen. Maybe it will. 16. If not, at 35 I'm going to adopt. 15. Probably 2... but at least a year apart, and the 1st will choose the 2nd. 14. My mind is constantly spinning. I thought that was how everyone worked... but apparently there are times when some one's head is completely empty. 13. I am completely jealous. 12. Every woman should only go to a stylist that loves her hair. It makes such a difference between a cut and actually getting your hair done. oh and Gabe loves my hair :) 11. I hold my grandmother's hand everywhere now. 1. it makes her walk faster and 2. She starting to stumble and it scares me. 10. I will lose my cookies the day she dies. If you love me, come find me, because I promise I will not be alright. 9. Same goes for mom. 8. Shitty as it sounds... I've been expecting my sister to die for a long time now. The day it happens won't be much of a shock. I mean it will, but not really. 7. I am better at long distance relationships. 6. I am an amazing klutz. 6. part II. amazing. 6. part III seriously, I can walk into file cabinets. 5. No one laughs harder at me than I do. 4. Me cooking for another person is the greatest extent of my love. 3. I can cook, and well... but I usually don't. I feel like these should be good.. as they are the last 2 2. I am very English when I am tired or drunk. 1. Potential is a word I have heard all my life. All it has done is made me feel squashed by the weight of people's expectations... and fear failing and letting so many people down. Quite a big blog. It was a lot easier than I thought it would be. How funny that my sections are mixed up so that there is not a coherent list. and yet, I would say that is fitting. Hugs and kisses, people.