Don't read this.

But I told you not to, so of course you are. This week has been a strange week. Today has been a strange day. Right now I wish that I had not given access to my blog to some people I know. I have thus begun to restrict it. Bond wanted it, I said no. Partially because I would be embarrassed for him to read the drool that gets typed... and because I don't want him to think less of me. I think if you generally don't blog after a certain time, blogger should refuse to publish your post until a decenter hour. When you have read your own crap and recognized it as such. There are things that I do not like about myself. One of which is the happy puppy syndrome. The best part here is that my friends know I have it and make concessions for it. So every time I say "THAT IS NOT WHAT THIS IS!" and then it is that exactly. But what is Happy puppy syndrome? (rampant medicalization in full effect) It is when you meet someone and you have a couple of really great, interesting, thought provoking, clairvoyant interactions with them that you and they are under the impression that you've made a real connection. And you have of sorts.... and then one day you want to push them off of your roller coaster. because as great as they are... it's just not interesting anymore... and everything about them annoys you. and it's not them, it really is you. Like a child who cries for a toy, gets it, breaks it, and cries until it is given again. *sniff* I am going through people faster. or maybe just guys. i don't like it. and some of them are fantastic. but none of them are for me. and i can't say why (or i can but I'm not). And you get asked the question so freaking much... "why are YOU single" and it sounds bad to say "because I haven't met anyone I like for more than 60 seconds" even to me who says that I am not looking for forever and ever. Jenny bear called me insensitive because what other people consider "dates" i do not, unless i am "asked out". which looks juvenile. and then telling her about Bama she says "well yeah, we all knew he was going to pitch, we just thought he was going to do it a lot sooner" but his pitch was not enough. If he has better I haven't seen it, however, I did see what it was that made me say that I didn't see a relationship coming from this. Even with the Friday morning call of "I like you". I am not blogging Lemon out of consideration, not because he is not important, but because he is too important. and i believe i will go to hell if I hurt him. Follow up with I saw a guy from high school this week. He is a waiter. still. There is nothing wrong with that.We see each other every so often. I see him out, we talk for a min, sometimes get a glass of wine and catch up. He calls and asks if I want to keep him company at work, he'll buy me a sandwich. I like sandwiches. I get there, he asks me to wait 20 min and we'll get real food that the place he was at was good but he could do better. I had lamb for lunch. JB says hold on to your horses, he is about to pitch for a relationship. I bet her a bottle of wine. The parameters were 2-4 weeks (I gave her 4 for the sake of argument) and he either pitches or stops speaking to me completely. and no prompting from me. I owe her a bottle of wine, we are drinking tomorrow. It was not 2 hours after the bet that I got a text message (which is tragic by itself) of "I have a thing for you, I always have, always will" topped only by part 2 that said "If you run I will be sooooo mad at you" He asked me to dinner for Friday... I just never responded. because I am a jerk, and I am not interested in him, and I lack the wherewithal to tell him so. Dream killer grilled ribs for scotch because scotch has cancer. today he shows up w/Godiva and asked me to lunch. We talked for a min... he's still an a**hole. He is behaving because V-day is Wednesday and he is perfect on V-day... and not so much every other day. Not that he gets it wrong every day... but his bad is usually BIG and I'm so over it. But then i ran into one of his best friends whom i adore. He is what every girl wants. sweet, attractive, an engineer- smart, humble, etc etc... in a boyfriend. not your ex-boyfriend's friend. We shoot the sh*t, it's cool. He left me a couple of v-mails and wants to hang out. no. bad. no way that is going to be good. Bond laughed at me. 0-4. He says I am spoiled and he is partially to blame.I am spoiled, but not because of Bond. You guys get the happy hearts because I need the hearts. yay hearts.