but not like REALLY intoxicated.
Today I laugh at the paradox that we all are. I say paradox over contradiction because it makes sense if you think about it long enough. I just don't suggest you try.
Why paradox.. 1. The devil invited me out drinking. 2. I may never have told you this... but Tourettes' who had illegal substance abuse issues and drinks insanely works for a church. In fact as we speak, she is at dinner with a ladies church group. She is incredibly paranoid of everything she says in front of them. 3. Shy is mad at me to the point of picking an argument with me because yesterday I did not tell him who I got roses from. 4. My boss-lady quit, today was her last day. We took her out to dinner and she asked that I stay after everyone to get one more glass of wine. and then she cried. Over me. and it doesn't make sense to even me.
And today I recognize how much closer I am edging to the idea of an arranged marriage. After all, my idea of love may never come to be. I believe in love, I do, I do. but sometimes it feels a bit like chasing the dragon if you know what I mean.
The devil is a bit of trailer park trash. She is cool with the dream killer. I saw her today and she makes a big deal out of me going out to have drinks with her and her friends. I say maybe. It isn't until I make it home after dinner with wine that the silence is deafening... and the offer doesn't look so bad. But go out for drinks to what? I don't like her and I certainly do not want to hang out a bar. I just want to not be here. and that makes perfect sense thank you. But I know me, and I know it would be better for me to stay my bum right here.
Yeah, Tourettes' job or the fact that this is the job that she has amuses me to NO end.
I didn't get why Shy was so mad until he picked a fight over email, literally all day. Then put in context.. that is what it was. Which is retarded because he gifted David's Bunny and I with cases of Fiji water for V-day. and he was in the privileged position of being able to say that we were both his girlfriends. at least for yesterday.
and no Boss lady. that is a kick in the head. I do not like it.
Also, I think I may need to take a break from circuit training for a min. and play weights with the young 'un tomorrow morning. Damn 5 am.
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