The Faith of a Few.

LSAT score sucked. You saw it, you know it.

What sucked worse in my mind was literally hearing the door to NorthWestern slam shut. I wanted to cry. I did not cry. I forced myself to come to work because it was the exact opposite of what I wanted to do. and then it got worse. I texted to check in w/Bianca's sidekick and see how she did. She rose 6 pts (which was good) but from a much worse score to where she would not even get in to my safety school.

Bianca calls me and I get closer to crying. She says "This is not failure. You did not fail, you have to re-evaluate how much you really want this. If you want law school you need to make some quick decisions and mrore realistic ones." and they both show up to tell me that they are proud of me. I am blessed to have the people in my life that I do.

On to the check-in call from Shy and I have to suck it up and tell him. I further tell him "I'm done." and he says "No, you are not. I will throw you back in the ring if I have to. Southern is NOT Northwestern and La. is not Chicago." I attempt a rebuttal and he says "Whatever it costs, I will pay it. You are not giving up and you are not staying here with these stupid f*cks. No one said it would be easy. You want better, You work for it. You do it by yourself and I'll see you in 6 months if thats what it takes but get it done".

I ate a cereal bar and a few bites of pasta yesterday. I was so sure I would be sick. Today my stomach is still knotted up. How can I do this again? With the changes to the test and no timer... I am sick with anxiety and anti-anticipation. This friggen test was my whole life. And I don't want to do another class. But it was most effective.

So one more? and I laugh as I hear my heat psyching me up... and I am a Bond-girl and warrior to boot... but G-Damn. One more?