Let's play Captain Obvious.

In the vein of the intro-spective, figure it out by reading all of the books about myself, my zodiac, my chinese zodiac, the artists you like and don't like, colors that respond to and keep around you... Kit-Kat who is a text book lesbian- with all of the K.D. Lang, Mary Chapen Carpenter, and Indigo Girls that implies... off we go.

You guys know all of this stuff. It is a measure of the obvious because it creates a point of reference to create a new point. I think. It works better when Kit Kat does it.

1. I didn't get the job in Phoenix

2. I didn't get the job in OH

3. I didn't get the guy (but I didn't figure out if I really wanted him either)

4. I did worse on a test

5. I had a great interview but got offers I literally can't afford to take

6. I had to clear my team.

7. I didn't get the school for JA that would really make me feel like I was making the difference in the life of a child

8. I checked (think hockey) a kid at the skating rink. not on purpose. I used to be great on skates.

9. I drank too much on a semi-date. I thought I was past that. While I didn't totally embarrass myself, I may have had a harsh conversation and been a bit of a bastard (pronounced baaaaaaaastard. see how the end was quick?)

10. everyday I find a new thing I hate about my job.

11. I still am hesitant about open windows. If I am in the house by myself, the windows/blinds/drapes have to be pulled. HAVE TO.

12. If I am home alone I have the TV on or music playing. I have trouble falling asleep. I hear every creak.

13. When I am overly nervous I still bite my nails. That's gross

14. I try not to judge/talk about people. But I am secretly smug that the girl that is in love with Bama who is 19 and works at the front desk is excessively nice to me because young un told her something. Yesterday she tells me I have perfect skin, last week I was stylish, before that she made small talk about yoga. She is adorable but transparent and trailer park trash. I am nice to her because she is superficially nice to me... but in the back of my mind I want to tell her "I am not the reason he does not want you, you are." but I don't. She does not know she doesn't need to kiss my butt, and I'm not going to tell her.

15. When stuff is too much, too frustrating, or I am too down on myself. I do not want to talk about it. I want to crawl in someone's lap and hide in their arms. I feel like this is childish. I will be a grown up and hash it out in a second, but for a second I need you to shut up and hold me.

16. That person is usually Dream Killer. He is good for that. Even if he is mad at me, or I at him. Which happens quite often.

17. I am afraid of getting fat. but even I will admit that my sense of myself is a little skewed.

K so that looks like enough. on the point. All of those are things that I see as incredibly negative. Some are bits of rejection (that I take such issue with) and they are ways that I am lacking. They are all of the most recent most awful stuff I could tell you about me. Ready for the best part? 1) I have rebuttals for all of them and 2) to me they are the worst... but I am still standing and magically none of those made me spontaneously combust.

Here is the rebuttal. Don't read it if you don't wanna. but today I need to see the progression in my steps. However, the next person that says "God has a plan for you and these things happen for a reason" will get the EDS.

1. Phoenix, but I was "overqualified" and then they had 2 serial killers... and Bunkles emails me the stories every day... and says "please don't move to where you will get shot, what will I do w/out you?"

2. It turned out to be a power struggle between 2 beings bigger than me. I am fine with that, and truly it was not where I was meant to be.

3. It wasn't a rejection. I did the same thing, I just didn't tell him. and he's still trying, granted it has nothing to do w/me per se... but stil :P

4. the "Faith of a Few" says it's not the end of the world. Most schools still take the best score.

5. I was deemed impressive, and his clerk is still being made to look, plus I have another interview coming up.

6. It is time. The team is made up of maybes, and as soon as you know it is a "no", you let them go. and there is anot a strong possibility in the whole lot.

7. I have a great group of girls. They are engaged and understand things that I still have to explain to the grown a** f*ck heads I work with.

8. I am great on skates. I really am. But lots of people around me makes me nervous. and plus kids usually love me, which makes me a skating liability... really it's their fault for hanging on to me.

9. ok, so I wasn't TRASHED, and I just know that I have to watch that a little better. At least it wasn't like a work function or something. and he was a gentleman about it. even after. even if that is what made me not an option. at least it was not a great big bad thing. just slightly embarrassing.

10. but I have interviews so this is only for now.

11. but I can look people in the eyes now. sometimes. most times. and it is not so glaringly obvious that I am not comfortable in my own skin.

12. at least I have a home.

13. yeah, I can't make that one better. it's a lot less than it used to be. but every once in a while...

14. ha ha. c'mon that is slightly funny. Like I said, she is adorable, minus oily stringy hair. and all I know is what he told me. So maybe she does have a chance, and maybe they will hop off into the sunset like happy bunnies. really?

15. This is only bad because I think it is not a mature way of dealing with things. Lucky for me, my friends don't care. and they still scoop me up.

16. Ditto for the dream killer.

17. I say this and I am down 2 sizes in pants. I can fit that stupid vera wang bridesmaid dress. and I didn't do it for stupid Kara.

Bond Girl. out.