Never say never.

I will never marry the dream killer. never, never, never, never. and never. not that he has or would ask. but in light of lack of dating-going-well he has filled in on quite a few potentially complicated events.

As I make plans for this Saturday, I am reminded that I forgot to tell you about last Saturday.

A crawfish boil and a huge party at a rented out upscale, downtown bar. Both were birthday parties. The crawfish boil was less expensive, but the more genuine of the 2. It was a guy that played football w/DK and his son (they are 1 day apart... awwwww... so daddy celebrates on the son's b-day.... awww part deux). Talking to him that morning he says "K... You know that means that we are spending the whole day together... I'm not taking sh*t from you today, I will slow the jeep down to 40 mph and push you out, I'm so serious". Whatever.

So I mapquest directions and he picks me up. We are en route when Mr. Boyscout decides to not follow my directions. He says I wrote it down wrong. I say "Ok, I'm just going to sit here and be wrong. Let me know when you would like to be un-lost". I sit there and shut up.

20 minutes later we hit a dead end and he says "now, please."

We get to the neighborhood that is WOW. I mean friggen WOW. like Lemon's St. Charles but with gi-normous yards and lakes and WOW. We take an extra block to look at the houses and DK says... "One day I will be able to give you one of these".... and I say "but where will you live?" I got THE look. oops.

Boil was great. DK peeled most of my crawfish so I wouldn't tear up my hands and I learned how to pump a keg. This is new territory for me. It was weird. I had a cupcake and I was sooo happy. We spent about 5 hrs in the sun. It was nice. He dropped me home and I took a shower and did a load of laundry because crawfish smells awful. I took a nap.

Later I pick him up for the evening party. I am driving so he can drink. and it was around the corner from his house (are you sensing a pattern). We are introduced by our friends to other people with "can you believe they are not dating? they used to date and now they are FRIENDS!" nice.

It gets better, guy-who-got-left-at-a-restaurant is there and comes to say hi. I try to not make it awkward, but it kind of is. DK picks it up and as we go to the bar I tell him the story... He kisses me on the forehead and hands me a cosmo. I tell him about Lemon too and he says "K, baby you are awesome... but you have to stop acting like that. Why would you do that to guys who have tried to be sweet with you?" and I well up with tears because he isn't telling me anything I don't know. Then he says the worst thing ever... "would you like me to give you $50 for your stupid-tax?"

No. It was never about the money. The money was only a symbolic representation of my stupid mistake. and I was out $50.

So the party was for my friend's mom. her 50th. I saw so many people I have not seen in years. One person I have seen quite often is her dad. He is a very successful attorney who spends a lot of time in my favorite bars. With various women. and no wedding ring. But he is very married. Dk and I watch the perfect family and meet my friend's little brother's new girlfriend who bar-tends at Ruth Chris and is well acquainted with the dad's activities. She and little brother are discussing marriage. She has the balls to tell us that she is sure the son is not like the dad. Dk and I study our drinks. Dk spent an evening at a gentleman's club with little brother on quite a few evenings... this apple is not far from that tree.

And I? I watch the spectacle and am sad for all of the ways we disappoint each other. Doesn't anyone stay in love anymore? I am quiet and contemplative. There is a brass band and hard wood floors, so Dk feels the need to show off. We do. and I tell him when I've had enough. It is a b-day so there is cake. Dk knows that this is the real reason I am here. So he brings me cake. It is great. then he sits next to me and offers me some of his.

And I am afraid that I will never find the pieces of him that are wonderful to me in anyone else. What if it was a one time thing, and even that was not enough because no matter how great he is for how long... he still hit me. one time, but it speaks to his potential. and there is no way in hell I would get stuck in that.

This morning should not have started with this. ick. better post to come. Today is me and bunny's date.